The Fairy Tale
by Eh Bien
Summary: Renesmee and Jacob's courtship, wedding, and honeymoon, from Nessie's POV. Mostly fluff. Post-saga, canon. M for non-graphic sexual content.
1. Once Upon a Time

**This story, while a stand-alone, is overlapped, from other points of view, in my earlier post-saga stories, _Friends and Relations_ and _Leavetaking_. **

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><p>Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Renesmee Carlie Cullen.<p>

That would be me.

'_Once upon a time_' really is the only way my story can begin. Other people, when they rewrite their personal histories in the form of a fairy tale, are only being fanciful. The handsome prince riding off into the sunset with the beautiful princess is merely a metaphor for the economics major meeting the sociology major at a fraternity mixer and eventually moving into a split level house in Connecticut. It's just the opposite for me. My mundane 'official' life story is itself a metaphor which conceals the far more outlandish reality.

That's why I laughed when Aunt Alice said she was planning a fairy tale wedding. "For me?" I asked her "Seriously? My whole _life_ is a fairy tale. Shouldn't my wedding be something a little bit out of the ordinary?"

Jacob thought that was funny. "Like how? What's the opposite of a fairy tale wedding?"

"I don't know. Maybe a wedding with an Internal Revenue theme."

He laughed harder. "Joint tax return forms folded into origami swans!"

"An ice sculpture of lovebirds sitting on a nest of shredded W2 forms!"

"What's our chances of finding a Death and Taxes wedding cake topper?"

"Oh! Or getting Death and Taxes to actually play at our reception?"

Aunt Alice was not amused. Planning a wedding wasn't something she took lightly. I put the jokes aside, but the fairy tale aspect kept running through my mind from then on.

The fairy tale started before I was even born. As one writer said, 'Let us all hope we are preceded in this world by a love story.' I certainly was; a magical love story. My parents shouldn't have ever ended up together, in the normal course of events, much less have the happy ending which is their married life. And I wasn't even supposed to be _possible_. My mother nearly died bringing me into this world, and in the meantime my very existence almost started one war between supernatural beings, and brought a temporary death sentence on my entire family. That we all survived and went on to live, well, happily ever after is the most amazing part of the entire tale.

I remember it all. That's one of the vampire qualities I inherited: perfect memory. Apart from the time I spend sleeping, of course. The sleeping part fascinates Aunt Rosalie. She's asked me to describe what happens to my memory during the time I spend sleeping. I've explained that it just stops, and resumes when I wake up, as if somebody hit the Pause button. I do remember some of my dreams, though. Otherwise my memory is as perfect as any vampire's. I remember my own birth; I even have some memories of the time prior to my birth, although those are odd, almost like dreams themselves in a way.

Jacob was part of my world from the time I existed. In some ways, he was the most fairy-tale of all. I was his sworn enemy, and in an instant I became his reason for living. Yeah, I found out about the imprinting thing eventually; but that's another soap opera. Although I didn't think so at the time, I eventually came to see the romance in the whole phenomenon. Kind of like Tristan and Isolde, except that Jacob, apart from the sworn enemy aspect, isn't much like Tristan. Jacob is so down to earth.

At first, he was my favourite babysitter, loving and attentive in a way nobody else could be, except maybe Momma.

Then he was a playmate, a perfect playmate, willing to participate in countless silly games and outdoor romps. No, not just willing, like most of my family would have been. Jacob was genuinely delighted with anything we did together, no matter how boring it was to most adults. I could tell the difference.

As I got older, he became a friend, someone I could complain about my day to, someone I could share my secrets with. He was truly the best friend a girl ever had. As my needs changed, so did the nature of his friendship, so I never outgrew him. He was like something from a fairy tale: a genie's response to a wish for a perfect lifetime companion.

It was only when I got older that things became more complicated, for a little while, anyway.


	2. Changes

It started one day when I was in my sophomore year at high school. Jake was still my best buddy, just like always. Then, one day, he came with Momma to pick me up after school. They were both standing in the school lobby as I came out of my last class for the day. I left the classroom along with two other girls I knew, and as we walked along the corridor toward Jake, the girls noticed him. The same way girls have noticed Poppa or Grandpa Carlisle whenever _they_ came to pick me up at school. Although it's a little weird to hear kids from school drool over your own father or grandfather that way, I'd gotten used to it over the years; but I'd never seen it happen with Jacob. It took me by surprise, and when the girls started whispering about him, I guess I looked at Jacob from their perspective for just a moment. I realized it made sense: he was beautiful. He was more beautiful than any of the boys at that school, or any of the male teachers. He was still my Jacob, my old friend, but now he was also...something else. Then one of the girls whispered about the way Jake was looking at _me_. I filed that away in the back of my mind to consider later, but it was at that moment things began to change.

Everything with Jacob had always been so easy. Suddenly it started to become complicated, and I didn't like it.

Maybe part of the problem was my age. I was seven at that point, although I appeared to the world to be in my mid-teens, and while I was ahead of my classmates in academics and, according to my family, in intellect and maturity, I'd never really shared their interest in the opposite sex. I knew what boys were for, but it was all theoretical to me. Then, suddenly, it was as if a timer had gone off, and something that had been sleeping started to wake up. All of a sudden I started thinking about it, and when I did, Jacob kept finding his way into those thoughts.

It made things uncomfortable. One part of my life that had always been effortless and straightforward, my friendship with Jacob, was no longer a safe haven for me. One moment things would be fine, just like the old days, and the next moment I was remembering the way those girls had looked at him. Or I would remember how he looked when he'd just phased back from wolf form and was without a shirt. I'd seen him that way a million times, but now it started to make me think - and I didn't even know for sure what it made me think _of_! I just knew I wanted it all to stop.

I went through a _difficult stage_, as the parenting books describe it. Human kids are always going through stages, of course, but this was something new for me and my parents. I'd never had any trouble cooperating with the family. I'd never rebelled or defied them; never been rude or insolent to them. I honestly never felt any desire to. I think it was a shock for everyone concerned.

I began disputing every family decision, arguing with every request, finding fault with everything around me. Frankly, I must have been a huge pain to be around.

I started running off on my own and refusing to say where I'd been. When people asked, I'd snap at them. I still remember Grandma Esme's expression when I told her, very brusquely, that it was none of her business. I felt terrible about that, but it only made me behave worse.

And where was I, when I went running off by myself? Nowhere in particular. I just wanted to get out of earshot of the family, out of reach of their perfect hearing and my father's mind reading. It had never bothered me before, but now I felt a craving for privacy. I wanted to be able to let my thoughts wander, to try and figure out what they meant, without anyone listening in. I even wanted to get away from Jacob. I blamed him a little; he seemed to be the source and centre of all this strangeness. I would stay away for hours, just walking through the woods, then go home and be rude and surly to my family, and finally stalk off to bed without saying goodnight. It became a pattern.

I knew they were worried about me, and I hated making them worry. I assumed they talked about me when I was away, or when I was asleep, and that made me angry, too.

I'd like to say my difficult stage was short lived, but in fact, even after the more extreme aspects had burned off, I continued to be difficult for almost two more years, off and on. On the other hand, I didn't put them through any of the worries human kids would have. There was no drinking, drugs, promiscuity, vandalism or unsafe driving involved. It was just a matter of alternating between the old, consistent Dr. Jekyll and an unpredictible Ms. Hyde.

I overheard Poppa talking about it with some of the family once - just once, since they were usually discreet. He said that after a virtually blameless and untarnished childhood, I was entitled to some late-blooming adolescent angst.

"_If_ that's all it is," I heard Momma say. "I hope there's nothing upsetting her that she's unwilling to talk about."

"Could she be in some kind of trouble?" Esme asked. "Maybe even...do you think she's hurt someone, and is afraid to tell us?" They thought I might have killed a human? I was a staggered that my behaviour seemed extreme enough to suggest that.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"I doubt it," Poppa said at last. "It's unlikely she'd suddenly lose control like that, after so long. Besides...I avoid hearing her thoughts, especially now when she seems to dislike the idea so much, but I don't think I could completely miss something like that. It would be almost impossible to keep out of her conscious mind."

"Jasper?" I heard Momma ask. "Do you have any idea? Is she upset with us? Afraid of something?"

I heard Uncle Jasper sigh. "She's upset, yes. Not really afraid, just anxious. I can't pinpoint anything. It's a generalized distress, a discomfort and confusion, some undirected anger. To be honest, adolescent angst sums it up as well as anything."

I ran back to the woods at that point, not wanting to hear more. I hated upsetting them, hated that they were talking about me, hated feeling the way I did. I had no idea what to do about it.

Things did simmer down eventually. I got less offensive to everyone, but I remained a little withdrawn for the rest of my time in high school. My friendship with Jacob took the brunt of it after the first few months. We were still friends, but the openness was gone. I didn't feel like I could tell him everything, like I had before. I spent less time with him. I could see he was hurt, although he said nothing directly, and that was the most painful thing of all.

I graduated from high school when I was, technically, nine years old. I'd stopped growing and changing some time ago; I was, for all intents and purposes, a grown woman. I would be starting college in September, and Jacob was enrolled along with me. In spite of my changed behaviour with him, he was the same steadfast friend I'd always had. I was a little amazed and his unwavering affection and acceptance.

He came to my graduation in a light grey suit and blue tie, his glossy black hair tied at the nape of his neck, and I was struck again by how very beautiful he was. Once more, I saw him with that double vision that had plagued me since my sophomore year: I saw _my_ Jacob, the companion from infancy on; and at the same time I saw the new Jacob, the one who made me feel so odd and unlike myself. He'd brought a huge bouquet of yellow roses and white lilies to congratulate me on my graduation, and he presented them to me after the ceremony with a big smile. A smile that showed no sign of resentment for the distance I'd placed between us recently.

A girl from my Biology class passed by, giving Jacob a look I was becoming familiar with. I found I didn't like it. She had no business throwing possessive looks at Jacob and his beautiful smile. He was _my_ Jacob.

I guess I had an epiphany at that moment. Everything clicked into place: all the strange feelings, the restlessness and the discomfort, the unfocused anger at Jacob, the confusion. The second it clicked, I felt ridiculously stupid for not realizing what was going on. It brought denial to a whole, bizarre new level. How had I hidden the truth from myself for so long? I'm an idiot.

While all this was rushing through my mind, outwardly I was calmly accepting Jacob's flowers, thanking him. I looked up at him, trying to return his smile but not quite managing it. I could sense the feelings I had for Jacob sink deep into me, into my bones. He was still _my_ Jacob - I realized now that he wasn't the one who'd changed, never had been - but I was no longer the same Nessie he'd known before. I was _his_ Nessie.

Did he know? Did he even suspect? Did I want him to?

I bent my head to smell the roses in my arms, trying to brace myself for the rest of the day's events. Congratulating my classmates, attending the graduation party the school had organized, then home to the more exclusive family party Aunt Alice had arranged. I concentrated on acting normal while going through all the socializing and celebration, trying to put everything else aside until I could be alone to think.

I automatically blocked my thoughts for now, replacing them with anticipation of the upcoming parties, plans for college, even taking note of what other girls were wearing, as I hugged my family and accepted their congratulations. My father gave me another bouquet, this one of pink roses, and Grandma and Grandpa presented me with a corsage to wear at the school party. I felt surrounded by love, and hugged them all a second time for good measure. My epiphany had released so much of the resentment I'd been carrying around all those months, I suddenly felt light, as if weights had been removed from my wrists and ankles and I was suddenly in a 50% gravity environment. They finally left me to attend my school gathering, and I promised to be home early to move on to Aunt Alice's graduation party.

"The school's party is mere prologue," I told her. "Yours is the real celebration."

She grinned happily. "A first graduation is an occasion. We couldn't let it go unmarked."

I hugged her for a third time. "Thank you. I can't wait."

I noticed how glad they all looked, and a little surprised. I guess they weren't used to happy, affectionate Nessie any more. I was as pleased to have her back as anyone, in spite of the disruption that had accompanied her return.

The school party was okay. I managed to avoid the food and drink. I talked to my outgoing classmates, none of whom I expected to see again. Leaving people behind was part of being a Cullen. Recorded music started up, and I danced when asked. None of the boys were particularly good dancers, but I passed the time imagining I was dancing with Jacob. Why not? No mind readers within range at this point.

After two hours, I said my final goodbyes, gathered up my flowers, and headed for the parking lot. The sight of my little blue Corvette lifted my spirits, as always. It was a present from Poppa. Not the extreme high-end luxury sports car that was his first choice, but a nice, fairly inconspicuous alternative. It had been modified to allow more headroom in the passenger seat, for when Jacob rode with me.

I sat in the front seat for a few minutes, thinking about Jacob and preparing myself to be calm and keep my thoughts quiet. That was another vampire trait I'd inherited: a brain with an infinite number of rooms, in which I could stow thoughts or ideas away while I dealt with more immediate issues. I was grateful for the ability now. I started my car and headed home.

The party was fairly understated, by Aunt Alice standards. There was a big, silver 'Congratulations' banner over the front door. The living room was decorated with bowls of flowers and dozens of lit candles, the table held a cake in the shape of an open book, and a stack of wrapped gifts were on the side table. I was greeted warmly and congratulated all over again. I took a minute to place both my bouquets in water and add them to the floral mix before launching into the party proper. Aunt Alice announced that gifts were first on the agenda.

Aunt Alice, of course, gave clothing and accessories: a gorgeous raw silk blazer and a leather laptop case for my freshman year at college. The new laptop to go in it came from Momma and Poppa. Grandpa Carlisle and Uncle Jasper gave a joint gift of a first edition of a favourite novel, signed by the author along with a slightly obscene notation on the flyleaf. Grandma Esme and Aunt Rose gave me jewelry - a delicate pendant made from yellow and brown diamonds set in gold - and Uncle Emmett skipped the gag gift this time in favour of some digital recording equipment. The last gift was from Jacob. It was a small but beautiful framed painting by a 1930's Mexican artist I'd recently become obsessed with.

"You remembered!" I said in surprise.

"I have been known to listen every once in a while." He grinned at me, pleased that I liked his gift.

At one time, I would have hugged him in thanks, the same way I did all my other family members, but now it felt awkward. "Thank you, Jacob. It's perfect." I moved away from him, appearing to look for a place to set the painting upright. "Thank you, everybody," I said, with feeling.

"Cake time!" Aunt Alice sang out, and I admired the cake, took a quick snapshot of it, and cut pieces for Jacob and myself. I took only a few bites, and Jacob finished off his own piece and mine.

"Did you eat at the party?" Momma asked.

"No. I thought I'd go hunt later." I was okay with human food, but it still wasn't my first choice.

Every fairy tale worth its salt has some sinister aspects, and mine is no exception. I've never harmed a person in my life, but all things being equal, the food I'd prefer to live on is human blood. That being out of the question, my preference is to kill and drain a live mammal - ideally a large predator, although deer or such will do. School acquaintances would be shocked, I suppose. I don't really come across as the lethal, night-stalking blood drinker type.

Aunt Rosalie once told me that hunting was one of the hardest things for her to get used to, after Grandpa changed her. She saw eating as something that was done in a civilized way, and she was horrified at having to run through the woods, tackle furry beasts and suck their blood. "It just seemed like the least human thing I was faced with," she told me. "I knew I wasn't human any more, but hunting just rubbed my nose in it. I hated feeling like a wild animal."

I kind of understood how she felt, but it was never like that for me. Maybe because I had no human experience to compare it with. Hunting came naturally to me; it was effortless and instinctive. During the worst of my _difficult stage_, it was always a welcome escape.


	3. Breakthrough

Once the party had wound down and I'd thanked everyone again, I headed for the back door. "I won't be too late," I called over my shoulder, looking forward to a chance to mull things over on my own. I had a lot of mulling to do.

"You're not going by yourself?" Poppa asked.

"Sure."

"We haven't scanned the area for days, sweetheart."

I sighed in annoyance. I knew what he was worried about: the possible presence of other vampires. Unlikely, but possible. I was in no danger from anything human, animal, or machine, but as a hybrid I could attract a hunting vampire and be very little use defending myself against one. "I'll keep watch, Poppa. If I smell anything unusual I'll run home."

He frowned uneasily. "At least take Jacob with you."

"Yeah, I'll come along, Ness." Jacob stood up to accompany me. Always happy to be in my company, no matter how obnoxious and cranky I got.

I couldn't think of any reason to object. I turned and stalked out the back door, Jake behind me. He stopped at his house, a cottage a short distance from the main house, took off his shoes and socks and left them on the porch. I tried not to watch as he stripped off his shirt and tossed it over the railing, but my eyes were drawn by the moonlit lines of his back and arms. So beautiful. How had I never noticed before? He ducked quickly around the corner of the porch, and I knew he was removing his pants. I focused momentarily on the clouds overhead. A second later, the trousers were flung onto the porch as well, and an instant after that Jacob emerged around the side of the house, now a gigantic, russet wolf.

It was a little easier being with him in wolf form. As a wolf, he didn't distract me or make me think unfamiliar thoughts. I ran with him over the boundary of the state park and on into the dark woods, beginning to relax as we dodged and chased playfully. I scented a bobcat in the distance, tracked it and flung myself on it, joyfully quenching my thirst. Jacob declined the carcass; he stuck with human food for the most part.

No longer thirsty, I started walking aimlessly through the brush, Jacob at my side. I didn't speak for possibly half an hour, just watched the path ahead of me, and at last Jake nudged me inquisitively with his nose. "What?" I asked him, more or less rhetorically. He nudged me again. "Nothing, I just don't feel much like talking." He seemed to accept that.

Why had it become so hard to talk to Jacob? I'd always been able to talk about anything with him. Now I had nothing to say to him. Or else I had too much to say.

I finally found my way back to the house, and stopped at the door to his cottage. "I thought I'd do some painting tonight," I told him. "See you tomorrow, okay?" He lowered his head and we bumped foreheads in the familiar manner; then he loped off to his front porch while I headed home. I looked back a moment and saw that he had already phased and was standing on the porch in the darkness, gathering his clothes. His back was to me but he was naked. My eyes, stubbornly ignoring the commands of my brain, remained fixed on him until he disappeared inside his front door.

I briefly greeted my family, who were settled in their usual clusters around the living room, reading, talking, watching television, and indicated with a gesture that I was heading for my studio. It was a little room, originally designated a sun porch, which Esme had renovated for me. I adjusted my easel and took out the last canvas I'd prepared. It had been a while since I'd spent any time on my painting; going through a bratty phase took up a lot of time. Tonight, though, I felt open to the possibility. I guess it was my epiphany. Something inside me had loosened up.

I slipped out of my clothes, put on the paint-spattered smock I kept there, prepared my paints and stood looking at the canvas. If I was honest with myself, which I wasn't entirely ready to be, what I really wanted to paint was Jacob. Jacob as he'd appeared a few minutes ago, naked in the faint moonlight. I'd painted his portrait only once, many years ago. He'd always seemed too much of my ordinary daily scenery to bother painting, but now he seemed like the only fitting subject. I dismissed that idea and began another piece, something I'd been picturing for a few weeks. It was a landscape of sorts, of the nearby woods as they appeared when I darted through it: leaves, twigs and branches in the most minute detail, arcing around an open, twisting tunnel through the greenery. I could feel myself being drawn through that tunnel, impossibly fast, pulled by the moist, warm scent at the end of it, even as I took in every tiny feature of the passing trees and shrubs. It was a hard concept to get into visible form, but after an hour I was satisfied that it was shaping up.

I washed, dressed, and was turning to leave when a soft tap came at the door. Grandma looked in, her expression apologetic. "I don't want to disturb you when you're working, sweetheart, but I was curious. Do you mind?" She gestured to the easel.

"No, it's fine. It's not finished, though."

She stood a few feet back, studying the canvas. "It's fascinating. It's yourself, your own perspective rather, running through the woods, right?"

"Yes." I smiled, glad she could see what I was aiming at.

She tilted her head. "I like the monochromatic look. It's unusual for you."

"I guess it is. I wanted to try something new."

She nodded. "I like it." She turned and I followed her back to the main room. Everyone looked up at us with little smiles as we came in, and I could easily picture the whispered conversation just a few minutes earlier:  
><em>"She's painting again!"<em>  
><em>"Really? It's been months!"<em>  
><em>"Maybe she's feeling more like herself."<em>  
><em>"Hope so."<em>  
><em>"Do you think she'd be upset if I looked in?"<em>

It was the kind of thing that had irritated me recently, but now I was mostly touched at their concern. I said goodnight and ran up to my room.

I felt a little stifled at not being free to let my thoughts wander wherever they wanted, not when Poppa was downstairs. A short time later I heard him and Momma leave the house, apparently to hunt, and I let out a sigh. I felt bad about resenting my father, who took great pains not to intrude on the thoughts of others, but I had to admit it was a relief right now to have him out of range.

I lay back on my bed, trying to make sense of what was going on. It wasn't, I finally admitted to myself, that I didn't know what was happening. It was adjusting to the fact that it was happening to _me_. I knew all about love, and sex. You can't live with a houseful of bonded vampire couples and not be well informed about those things. But it had always seemed like something that happened to other people.

So...I forced myself to look at the thing objectively, honestly. I was in love. With Jacob. Right?

I blinked in astonishment as that fact seemed to compute.

I was _attracted_ to Jacob. That clicked as well.

I knew that humans, outside of storybooks, typically took a long time to actually fall in love. My family was different, though, and it didn't surprise me to find that I'd processed the entire thing in such a short period of time. Then again, maybe my difficult stage had been part of the process. Either way, it was a done deal, and I felt as if I were standing in the aftermath of an earthquake, the ground now firm and steady but in completely new arrangements. If I was like my vampire family, this was something that would never change for me.

So now what?

The first question I had to face was, how did I really feel about all this? The somewhat surprising answer was, I didn't exactly know.

As I've said, I knew about love, I knew about sexual attraction, I knew about couples. I had never applied any of this knowledge to myself, though, much less to me and Jacob. It had always felt like something of a spectator sport to me. I never saw myself as participating, for some reason. What was supposed to happen now? What did I really _want_ to happen? My mind reeled quickly through a vast series of possibilities, some of them compelling, some a little bit daunting.

What's the problem here? I asked myself. I'd always been known for my rather overdeveloped sense of self-assurance. My family made jokes about it. There was no new experience I was unequal to, no challenge I wasn't prepared to face. Until now. I pondered a moment.

Once again, I realized, I was being an idiot. It didn't really depend on me. That was the problem. I could decide whatever I liked about how I felt, what I wanted, and what I thought should happen. Ultimately, it was also up to Jacob. If he didn't feel the same way I did, that was the end of it.

Jake had always been there for me, always been what I needed when I needed it, but this was different. This time, it was in his hands. What if, for the first time, he didn't meet me halfway?

I felt very cold.

Obviously, the burning question was, how did _he_ feel about _me_? I had no idea, but as far as I could tell, nothing had changed for him. He still acted like the old friend he'd always been. Maybe I was alone in this. Maybe he didn't want me that way. Maybe he never would.

I lay still for a long time, staring at the ceiling, thinking about being in love with Jake and forever keeping it a secret because he was still just my old friend. It was a bleak prospect.

Over an hour passed, and I was going to try and let myself get some sleep, when good old overconfident Nessie made a sudden reappearance. It occurred to me that I didn't necessarily have to just sit around mooning, hoping love would fall into my lap. I knew I couldn't _make_ someone love me, but maybe there were steps I could take to encourage the likelihood. Jacob already liked me - in fact, I was his favourite person. I was sure enough of that. Jake didn't have a girlfriend of any description. Why not...?

Could it be I just wasn't his type? I'd always been completely nonchalant about my own appearance. I knew that my family were more beautiful than I was, by their very nature, but I accepted that fact casually. Everyone around me had always loved and appreciated me, and loved the way I looked, so consistently that I wouldn't have known how to be anxious or self-conscious about my looks if I'd tried. Now I had a reason.

I got up and looked into the bedroom mirror with a newly critical eye. My figure, according to Aunt Alice, was good. I wasn't entirely sure what a good figure entailed, but apparently I had the potential to be attractive from the neck down. I had wide shoulders, a generous B cup, a normal waist-to-hip ratio, and everything was symmetrical. Aunt Rosalie said my legs were one of my best features, although I could only see them as functional. Fair enough. I moved on to the face. I had the dark brown eyes my mother once had, when human. Otherwise, I was told I looked like my father. I thought Momma was the prettiest in our family, with her delicate face and small, slender body; why couldn't I take after her? I frowned at my reflection. I had Poppa's long, straight nose, square chin, rather strong features. Was my appearance too masculine? My hair was an odd, reddish-brown colour, and always a little unruly, my curls difficult to keep in order. Could my looks attract Jacob? I had no idea what his taste in female beauty ran to.

In the end, my natural confidence won out. I knew I wasn't exactly ugly. It wasn't going to be an issue. I could do this.

I started to smile to myself, cautiously picking through possible scenarios, and by the time I heard my parents come home, and quickly shut down my thoughts for the night, I found myself becoming quite optimistic.


	4. Declarations

I woke and jumped out of bed, filled with anticipation and hoping not to lose my optimistic edge. I put on a sundress and my new diamond pendant, then studied myself in the bedroom mirror. I spent some time trying to arrange my hair before giving up and just running a brush through my curls and letting them go where they liked, as usual. I ran down the first few stairs before leaping over the banister and landing lightly in the dining room below. Momma looked up at me with a smile, and I caught her in a hug.

"No more school dress code!" I twirled in front of her, making my skirt flare out.

"You're in a good mood!" she observed.

I tried not to think of how rare that had been lately. "Well, I'm finished high school. Summer vacation's just started. We're getting ready to move into a new house in a new city, and I'll be starting college for the first time. Lots to be excited about."

"True." She grinned at me. "Are you hungry?"

"No. The hunting last night was enough for a while." I thought of running right to Jacob's house, but that might draw attention. Jacob usually came here in the mornings when I was home. I went to the piano, looked through the stacks of music on the stand, and chose one.

Grandma Esme peered in from her workroom when the music began, her dimples showing. I grinned back at her; I knew she loved hearing me play, and it had been a long time. I finished the first piece and segued into a Chopin prelude I knew she liked. I felt amazingly lighthearted and at peace with everyone, my prolonged contentious phase apparently terminated, just like that. The earthquake I'd gone through may have caused a lot of disruption, but it had also left behind a peaceful, if new, environment. My optimism grew.

I heard Jacob leave his house and approach our back door, and I quickly steadied myself so I could look at him without agitation when he came in. I managed to keep my thoughts on the music, but my feelings were another matter. The door opened, and Jake ducked his head slightly so he could walk through the doorway. Same as he always did, but today the action seemed impossibly adorable. He was wearing jeans and a tan Triumph Motorcycle tee shirt, which seemed to enhance his beauty to an almost unbearable degree. His long hair was hanging loose, and the way the sun caught it as he came through the door made my chest hurt. This really was new and unfamiliar territory. I concentrated on the music, but couldn't help but be aware that my heart was beating faster than usual.

I finished the prelude and met his eyes. "Hey, Monster," he said, smiling over at me. "What's on for today?"

I took a careful breath. "Nothing special."

"Want to go into Portland with me?"

"Portland?"

"I thought you wanted to check out the art museum before the display changed. School's out. You're free all day, right?"

"Right!" He sounded so normal. As if everything was just the same.

"And maybe get some pizza while we're out," he added.

I looked over at Momma, who gestured 'why not?' I grabbed my purse and followed Jake out the door, ready to start my campaign. How do I get my lifelong friend to start thinking of me as a...? I settled on _girlfriend_ for now. Do I ask him directly? Flirt with him? Drug and overpower him? I stifled a snicker at that last one, and slipped into the passenger seat of Jake's Audi.

I was afraid I'd be ill at ease around Jacob now. As it happened, things were almost too comfortable. We sang along with the radio in the car. We walked to the museum holding hands, as we usually did. It felt a little different now. At one point I looked up at him, trying to find a way to broach the subject, and he looked down at me at the same time. His eyes were so black and yet so bright; I stared, forgetting where I was. He stared back a moment before blinking and looking away. He wrapped his big hand more firmly around mine as we walked.

After the gallery we stopped for pizza - well, I ate two bites while Jake finished the rest - then he suggested going to the Cryptozoology Museum.

"You always said we'd go some time," he pointed out. "We'll be leaving the area in a few weeks. Now's the time."

"Will either of us be there, do you think?"

He grinned. "I expect a room each. Plus one for the Loch Ness Monster, if you want to count that."

It was a hoot, to be honest. The place was funny to begin with, even apart from all the in jokes Jacob and I were able to share. We left in the mid afternoon and just walked around the city, holding hands and people watching.

As happy as I was, I decided time was wasting. I had to start somewhere. "It's nice spending time with you again," I said tentatively.

"I like it too." He squeezed my hand.

"I'm sorry about being so awful the last few months." More than a few months, to be honest.

He frowned. "You weren't awful."

"Yes, I was. I was in a bad mood with everyone. I put you off. It was very unfair." I realized I sounded stilted.

"And that's over with now?"

"Yeah. Definitely. I hope you're not mad at me."

"Never."

I risked another look into his eyes. Potent. "I don't want to be at a distance from you."

"Good." He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze.

The conversation quickly went back to normal - pre-earthquake normal, that is. Which was good, except that I had trouble finding a way to introduce change.

That's the way it went for the next few weeks. I loved spending my days with Jacob, the way I'd used to, but I was becoming frustrated at having to hold my feelings in. I was terrified he'd simply look sad and tell me he didn't feel _that_ way about me, that we were just friends; and at the same time I couldn't bear the thought of keeping it all to myself forever.

One day, when we'd spent the day together, I simply decided that I had to make a stand and take the consequences. I realized that I had a means at my disposal which was not available to the average lovesick girl, and I resolved to stop thinking about it and act. We drove home largely in silence, Jacob picking up on my distraction and letting the conversation lag. When he parked the car, I turned to him, placed my hands on either side of his face, and kissed him.

I don't suppose it was much of a kiss, given my lack of experience, but at the same time I let my thoughts flow through my palms. I let Jacob see the earthquake I'd undergone, let him feel what I felt about him, even let him see my confusion and my uncertainty about how _he_ felt, about whether I should reveal myself. I let him have it all. And I let him feel how I felt when I kissed him. He inhaled sharply, froze a moment, then very, very slowly, very gingerly, began to kiss me back. He placed one hand gently on my chin and increased the pressure of his lips minutely. I knew he was taking in the images I was sending him. He knew everything, and he couldn't doubt the truth of what I was telling him. I was half relieved, half afraid to realize that it was all in his hands now.

I let my images stop, and after a few seconds Jacob drew back from me. He looked directly into my eyes for some twenty seconds, then turned and got out of the car. I watched him apprehensively, waiting for a reaction that told me something. He opened my car door, took my hand and led me away from his garage and toward the house.

Was he really not going to say anything? "Jacob?"

He squeezed my hand. "Ness, I think we should talk in the morning."

"What? Why in the morning? What's going to change between now and morning?"

"Nothing's going to change. I just need to think a little bit. I want to do the right thing here."

"What does _that_ mean?" I wasn't sure whether to get angry or cry. What the hell was going on?

He stopped walking and turned to me. Placing a hand on each shoulder, he bent and gently kissed me once more. On the lips, but with that same tentative quality. "Don't worry. Please, Ness. Just give me until tomorrow."

I wondered if direct rejection would hurt less than this bland avoidance. I decided crying would probably be the way to go. Keeping a grip on myself until I could run the gauntlet of my hyperaware family, I twisted away from Jake and headed for the house without another word.

Poppa was at the piano, but he left off playing when I came in. "Hi, sweetheart. Have a good day?"

"Sure," I said lightly, "really good; but I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed early." I stopped long enough to give Momma a hug and kiss goodnight, just to look more normal, and dashed up the stairs. Uncle Jasper gave me a curious look, of course, but there's only so much you can barricade.

I lay awake for hours, keeping my conscious mind on inconsequential things until I could fall asleep. I suppose my unconscious was sifting through things on its own, but at least it was out of my father's reach.

My dreams were odd. At one point, I thought I heard my father having a conversation with someone, but I could only hear his side of it, as if he were talking on the phone. The half I heard went like this:

"Yes, I remember."

Pause.

"What makes you think so? Has she said something directly?"

Longer pause.

"Yes, that confirms what I've suspected."

Short pause.

"Not at all. I don't think there's any further doubt. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long."

Silence, during which Poppa started to speak several times but seemed to be cut short.

"You don't have to explain. I have no reservations. You have my...well, not that you need my _consent_ at this point, but you have my blessing to proceed as you see fit."

Pause.

"I'm as okay with it as I'll ever be." He laughed, as if someone had told a joke I couldn't hear. "No. Oh, no. You're on your own from here on."

I fell into a deeper sleep at that point, and the strange dream ended.

I woke up well after the sun had risen, later than usual for me, and lay staring out the open window, thinking. I wasn't one to be discouraged by a single setback, but I had to admit, Jacob's reaction had hurt. I rose slowly and started to dress, freezing momentarily when I heard the sound of Jake's voice from downstairs. Damn. I really didn't want to face him right now.

At the very least, I was going to call off this morning discussion he had in mind.

I ran downstairs, called out greetings and headed for my studio before anybody could make further claims on my time. Jacob followed me.

"I'm going to do some painting," I told him, pointedly holding the door ready to close.

"Ness, I need to talk to you."

"Not today." I shut the door. He opened it and followed me inside.

"It's important."

"Jacob! Take the hint, for crying out loud!"

"Look, Nessie, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings the other day."

"My feelings are fine."

"But..."

"Jake! Just shut up, will you?" My plans to be calm and rational were going out the window.

He started again, and I simply walked out the side exit and across the property, still barefoot. I could hear him following me, and broke into a run.

"Nessie!" He seemed to be falling behind. "Don't make me have to phase! I need to talk to you for real!" His voice fell further back. "And I don't have an extra change of clothes! _Dammit_, Nessie!"

I realized I felt stupid, running away from him like a kid having a tantrum. I stopped short and turned, waiting for him to catch up. Even under these circumstances, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful he looked running toward me.

"Ness? Will you please let me explain?"

"You don't have to explain anything."

"Yes, I do."

"Seriously, you don't. There are only two answers you can give when somebody says _I love you_." I cringed, but gamely went on. "You can say, yeah, _I love you too_. Or you can say something else. Anything else; it doesn't really matter what." I knew all the heartbreaking possibilities from literature, but none had really struck me before with their unpremeditated, unavoidable cruelty. "You can say _I love you as a friend_, or _it wasn't meant to be_, or _it's not you - it's me_, or _we're just not right for each other_..."

"I didn't say any of those things."

"No. You said we should talk about this later. You think I don't understand what you're trying to...?"

"No, you _don't_ understand."

"Jacob..."

He gripped my shoulders tightly. "What I'm waiting to say is, yeah, I love you too."

I shook my head. "But...?" I urged tightly.

"No, no buts. That's it."

I glared at him. "What's this supposed to...?"

"You told me you loved me. No, you _showed_ me. I'm giving you answer number one: I love you too."

"And why would that have to wait until morning to talk about? What was this thinking over you had to do first?" I was half afraid he was playing a trick on me.

He released me, apparently convinced I wasn't going to make a dash for it. "I had to consider what was the right thing."

"Jacob, start making yourself clear, _now_!"

He gave me a tiny grin. "I didn't know if it was okay to tell you how I felt."

"Why the hell _not_?"

"You're a third my age, Ness. In real years, you're not even ten years old. I know age is a little different for you..."

"_And_ for you!" I pointed out.

"Fair enough. But I really had to give it some consideration."

"And did you?"

"Yes. Plenty." I glared at him impatiently, and his smile grew. "I decided it was fine."

"Good for you."

"Nessie..."

"I could've told you myself. I'm no more a ten year old than..."

"I get it. So can I tell you now?"

"Tell me?" I'd almost forgotten what we were supposed to be talking about.

"You showed me," he placed his hands on either side of my face, the way I had last night, "how you felt about me. Let me have my turn."

He was looking intently into my face, and I had a hard time looking away.

"You're more than an earthquake to me. You're the earth." He moved his hands so his thumbs caressed my jawline. "You're what makes everything else matter. You're beautiful and brilliant and kind. Being with you is what makes it worth waking up in the morning." His eyes stared into mine. They were so black, and so full of feeling. There was no doubting his sincerity. "I love you. Not just like a friend. The same way you love me. I love you, and I'm yours. I'm anything you want me to be, and I want to be that for you forever."

I just stared at him. I couldn't say that wasn't a definitive reply.

"Okay?" he asked.

I nodded. He moved his hands to cup my head and bent to kiss me.

Some time went by. A lot of time. I forgot about the worry and pain and sense of rejection I'd been feeling. I forgot about everything. I had other things on my mind. The way Jacob's hair felt under my hand. The texture of his skin. The heat from his body. The warmth of his breath against my cheek. Thousands of things, and all of them new and overpowering.

What was more, he seemed just as overcome, every bit as fascinated.

"It's so strange," I said. My voice, even, sounded different.

"What is?" He kissed my temple softly.

"We've known each other our whole lives - _my_ whole life, at least - and now it feels as if we just met for the first time."

"It's all new," he agreed.

We stared at each other a long minute, and at last he smiled and took my hand. "Let's go for a walk." He led me along the border of the state park the Cullen house verged upon, and into a narrow trail through the summer greenery. "We have a lot to talk about."

I've never made a list of the best days of my life, but if I did, that day would probably figure largely. We walked for hours, telling each other how we felt, pausing to hold or kiss each other, then talking again. Now that it was all over with, I was able to laugh about my conflicted feelings, my frustration and insecurity. Jacob was less precise about when he had begun to have feelings for me; he just said it had been a long time.

"But it doesn't matter. I'd wait any length of time for you. You're the perfect woman."

"Perfect. Right."

"You're perfect for me," he said quietly. "I could never want anyone else."

I turned to him, more seriously than before. "You know how this works, right, Jacob? I literally _won't_ want anyone else. Never."

"I know."

"I just want you to be sure..."

"I'm sure, Nessie. I couldn't be more sure. You're it for me, like I am for you."

The day went on like that: telling each other, in as many different ways as we could come up with, that we were perfect and in love and just endlessly fascinating. The kind of thing that's probably unbearable to outside listeners, so it's a good thing there weren't any. It wasn't until late afternoon that either of us thought about going back home.

"Maybe we should stop in on the family?" Jacob suggested.

"They're not worried," I told him. "They know you're with me."

"Yeah, but..." He grinned sheepishly.

"What?"

"I kind of have this urge to let them know. See how they take it."

I laughed at him. "You think they'll disapprove? My family loves you. You know that."

"Sure, sure."

"What are you worried about, then?"

He grew serious. "I want to be certain, that's all. You and your family are so close. I'd hate to cause any kind of conflict between you."

"There won't be any conflict," I said confidently, although I turned with him, back in the direction of the house. "When they know how I feel about you, they'll want me to be happy. And being happy means being your..." I hesitated. We hadn't given a name to what we were to each other.

"My...what?" he asked teasingly.

"I don't know."

"My significant other?" I snorted derisively. "My paramour? Steady lady? Personal companion?"

"Girlfriend would probably do fine for now."

"Girlfriend it is. Does that make me your boyfriend?" He grinned at me, daring me to say it.

I felt shy suddenly. An almost unheard of experience for me. "I guess it does."

He put an arm around my shoulders, and I put one around his waist, and we walked slowly back to the house. Nobody took note when we entered hand in hand - we'd been doing that since I could walk. I settled down on the sofa with Jake beside me, taking in the family's activities.

I'd expected to have to make some kind of formal announcement, but in the end, nothing was even said. After a time, I leaned my head on Jacob's shoulder, and he put an arm around me. I could see the others notice and give each other significant looks. Were they expecting this? Probably. Either Poppa or Uncle Jasper had likely picked up on something and dropped a hint. I didn't mind.

Finally Momma caught my eye and raised her eyebrows at me. I smiled back, and she nodded. That was as close to an announcement as we got.

I stayed there, curled up with Jacob, until we both started to fall asleep. Finally, he said he'd better get home. I walked him out the door and halfway to his cottage, and kissed him goodnight. Repeatedly. Then I went back home, where I sat with my family until I nodded off, my head on the arm of a chair. I was in no hurry to get away from them, not any more.


	5. Further Developments

A truly happy life can be dull to hear about. Even fairy tales tend to skip the pleasant parts over with a quick summary: _the years passed happily_, or something like that. So it went for Jacob and me over the following months.

We went about our usual business - reading and studying, renovating rooms and classic cars, planning our upcoming move, just generally getting on with our lives. It was all different, though. Everything seemed to be richer, more significant, because Jacob and I were doing it together. I'd never been a melancholy person, but now happiness had reached a new level.

Nothing much to see here, in other words.

But here's something more interesting, to anyone intrigued by sex in all its ramifications. Through all these early days, unbearably mushy and clingy as we constantly were, we had no physical relationship to speak of. We rarely went an hour without kissing and touching, but it was all pre-teen, G-rated stuff. I didn't even _think_ about taking it further. That's odd for a human, but it's a _really_ strange thing for a vampire. Ask any of my family: a vampire in love is a vampire in heat. Yet for the longest time, Jacob and I never got past the kissing and hand-holding stage.

It was only much later that I started to think it might be part of my nature. I was used to thinking about any traits I had as being either human _or_ vampiric; but at one point I began thinking about our friend Nahuel - the only other hybrid I knew. He'd been unattached when he met Tanya, and Tanya began to develop something of a fascination with him. It was assumed that Nahuel would either accept her very soon, or turn her down flat. Instead, the two of them began the gradual, agonizingly slow process of becoming familiar and forming a bond. It went on from my earliest childhood until my junior year at high school, when they finally made it official and moved in together. The family joked a lot about Tanya and Nahuel, and especially about Tanya's incredible patience, because it definitely wasn't Tanya who had slowed things down. It was Nahuel.

In every other way, I'd always been far ahead of the human curve, in growth, learning, and development - just like Nahuel. The one exception, for both of us, had been romantic attachments. Love and sex, to put it simply. We developed an interest late in life, compared to our other milestones, and we seemed to take a ridiculously long time to, shall we say, _ripen_. It took me over two years from the time I'd first become aware of Jacob as an attractive man, until I finally declared myself. The next stage of our relationship promised to be just as slow to develop.

But all this only occurred to me much later. At the time, I simply let things go on as they were. Jacob and I were going to attend college together in our new location, and I was excited about that; but all the time Esme was planning his new house, it never crossed my mind that I might consider sharing that house.

Midsummer, we relocated to Alberta, as planned. We packed up our home in Maine and moved into the open-concept, L-shaped house Esme had found and renovated. Jacob had a house, technically on a separate property, but a short run from the family home, as usual. We settled back into our normal routine, and in September most of the family set off for college, Jacob and myself among them.

We continued to be girlfriend and boyfriend through our freshman year, enjoying long talks in which we became reacquainted with each other. That sounds strange, considering I'd known Jacob all my life, but now we were looking and new facets of each other, new depths. We went out on dates, to movies and concerts and, occasionally, restaurants. We saw each other between classes, at lunch, in the library, and while studying at home in the evenings. We also spent a lot of time being affectionate, but all those months, things never progressed beyond the most innocent kisses and cuddles. It continued this way through the early spring. Then another change came.

Things were set into motion one day in March. Jake and I had taken a run in the woods one bright Saturday, an expanse of forest a short distance from our college campus. We raced each other back to the car, and I won. That was typical: Jake was faster than me in wolf form, but slower when he was in human form. I reached the car and turned back to him, laughing, as he closed the final distance between us. He reached me and picked me up, spinning me around, and I threw both arms around his neck and kissed him. So far, nothing out of the ordinary. Somehow, though, I felt just the slightest bit different about kissing him this time. I held him closer, kept my lips on his longer. It was something to do with the happy day we'd had together and how close I felt to him. He responded in kind, as he always did. Jake, I'd come to realize, always gave me exactly what I wanted.

A few minutes later, I felt something.

I can't say it shocked me, exactly. I knew how men's bodies worked; but just as before, I'd never really applied that information to myself. Or rather, to myself and Jacob. Now, I kind of had to. I was leaning up against a car, making out with my boyfriend, and he was...reacting the way guys were supposed to.

I paused and looked up into his eyes. I'm not sure what my expression looked like, but it made Jacob give me a quick, embarrassed smile and ease away from me.

"We should head home," he suggested, moving toward the driver's side of the vehicle. I thought of a lot of things I should say, but I wasn't ready yet. I slipped into the passenger's seat and let him drive me home, talking of other things.

The experience opened the floodgates. Once I became aware of Jacob's...potential in that way, possibilities kept popping into my mind and refused to go back where they'd been. Without even making a conscious decision, I found myself touching Jacob differently; kissing him differently. Parts of my body that I'd almost ignored seemed to be coming online, as if somebody, somewhere was flipping a series of breaker switches.

We were still technically no more than PG-rated, but there was a _lot_ of energy going on under the surface.

It was Jacob who took the next step, and I have to confess it surprised me.

We were heading out for a concert. I noticed Poppa giving me and Jacob a funny look as we said goodbye, but didn't think much about it. We had a great time, as usual; stopped on the way home for peppermint hot chocolate, a seasonal speciality offered by a downtown coffee shop, and Jacob suggested taking the scenic route home.

That was a joke. In this part of Alberta, almost every route in the scenic route, unless you go out of your way to find one that leads into a freight yard or a landfill. I laughed, but he headed out onto a quiet stretch of road. He pulled over at the entrance to one of Edmonton's parkland trails, an unimproved one that would certainly be deserted at this time of night, and parked. "Want to take a walk?" he asked.

I had the idea something was up, but I didn't ask. We walked, hand in hand, along the trail and out to the brink of a cliff, overlooking the mountains. Freezing cold and icy wet underfoot, but what did that matter to us? Neither of us were troubled by cold. He put an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, taking in the view and enjoying his presence.

Without any preliminaries, without a warning of any kind, he pulled away and turned to look at me. "Nessie, I have to tell you...I mean, I have to ask..."

He seemed agitated, and I didn't know why. "Ask me whatever you want, Jacob." I waited, while he seemed to collect his thoughts.

"You told me...no, you _showed_ me how much you love me. You know I can't doubt it."

"Good," I said softly, and he smiled.

"I wish I could make you just as sure of how I love you."

"Jake, I _am_ sure!"

He nodded, and seemed to pause again to think.

"Jacob, what is it?"

"I want you to marry me."

I swallowed hard.

"I love you, Ness. I want to be with you forever. Please marry me."

I think my mouth fell open, and I froze where I stood. He reached in his pocket and took something out, holding it out in his hand until I made myself look down. A ring. An_ engagement_ ring. The last thing I expected to be offered that evening.

"Please, Nessie," he whispered.

For once, I was able to catch up quickly. Where had I thought this was going, after all? We would love each other forever. We would either marry, or simply stay together permanently. I hadn't even sorted through the pros and cons of each, but I knew I wanted one or the other. But I didn't want this to be just about me, not any more. Jake wasn't just _mine_ any more.

I looked up at him. "Is this really what you want?"

"Of course." He frowned. "Are you saying it's not what you...?"

"No. I just want to be sure you're not doing this only for me."

"I'm doing it because I love you, and this is...what I do under those circumstances."

"Okay."

He grinned uncertainly. "Okay?"

"Easy as that." I smiled up at him. "We're getting _married_." It boggled the mind. I found myself smiling harder, then laughing as I threw my arms around him, almost making him drop the ring. We stood for a long time, holding each other tightly.

"Ness," he said against my shoulder. "Can you let me put your ring on?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to let go of you that long."

He laughed and held me tighter.

At last I sighed and pulled away - slightly. "Okay, then. But make it quick."

He chuckled and took my left hand, sliding the ring onto the third finger. "There."

I looked at the ring itself for the first time. It was unusual, a square cut diamond flush set into a platinum band and surrounded by slightly ornate carved metalwork. It was lovely. "Jacob, it's so beautiful!"

"You really think so?" He looked concerned. "Because if you don't, it would be no problem to exchange it."

"Don't even think about it. It's perfect." He still looked uncertain, so I placed one hand against his neck and showed him the ring through my own eyes. He relaxed and nodded.

It was another hour before we could bring ourselves to return to the car and drive home. My family were still gathered in the living room rather than retired to their private areas. That was unusual; and their expectant looks as we came in told me they'd had some advance notice that a betrothal might be in the works.

Momma caught sight of the ring I was wearing, and gave me a sweet smile with just a hint of ambivalence in it - I knew my growing up so fast had been a wrench for her sometimes. I threw myself into her arms, tears finally starting to well. "Momma, I'm so _happy_!"

That released the deluge, and for the next twenty minutes Jacob was congratulated, slapped on the back, and embraced, while I was hugged and kissed by every family member, and some of them twice.

At last we settled down to talk and go over the details. Aunt Alice quickly led us to what was, for her, the heart of the matter: the wedding itself.

"We don't have any plans yet, Alice" Jacob told her. "We haven't set a date - nothing. It'll have to wait until we can talk it over."

"At least promise you won't give me a one month deadline, the way Bella did."

"You did great with the time you had," Momma pointed out.

"But I could've done so much better given some leeway. Come on, give me a break this time!"

"Alice, dear," Esme said quietly, "they haven't even agreed to let you plan their wedding."

The look of horror on Alice's face made us all laugh. I was about to reassure Aunt Alice when I remembered the decision wasn't only mine. I'd have to get used to this. I looked at Jacob, and he shrugged.

"Aunt Alice, of course you can do it. Who else?"

She leapt up and hugged me yet again. "Then you'll let me know the date of the wedding, and what kind?"

"As soon as we know," Jacob told her.

The talk went on for quite a bit longer, but when I started to yawn, Jacob got up to go home. I walked him out the door and gave him a warm and lengthy goodbye.

The following day, Alice was still looking at me expectantly every time Jacob was around, so I asked him to take a walk and make some plans. "We should give them some idea of when and where," I told him. "Alice is going crazy waiting for information."

"Okay." He seemed pensive.

"Do you have any preference?"

"Well...I didn't have, but after talking to your folks..." He hesitated.

"Spit it out, Wolfman."

"It's just that your parents are probably having a hard time adjusting to this. You're still very young to them, y'know; and actually young in real years."

"And?"

"I thought maybe we should get married in the summer, after school's out. Maybe June."

"Over a year."

"Yeah. Too long?"

I thought about it. "No, I guess not."

We passed the word. Jacob was right: Momma and Poppa did look just a little relieved that it wouldn't be immediately. I'd have to remember to listen to him more.

Meanwhile, back at our love life, things were continuing to advance.

Although we didn't go back to Jacob's house to be by ourselves, given the proximity of my family, privacy wasn't as much of a problem as it might have been for an ordinary human couple. We could go off into the woods, day or night. We could find our way to isolated spots from rooftops to cliffs. We didn't even have to resort to the back seat of a car.

Our alone time had advanced to PG-13 and was accelerating rapidly. I have to admit, I was mostly responsible for that. My instincts were kicking in, and I was very pleased with where they were taking me. If I was kissing Jacob, it would just seem like a good idea to spread those kisses around. He had so much beautiful brown skin, it seemed a shame to neglect any of it. If my arms were around him, my hands would start to wander. Every part of him felt so good, so warm and alive and strangely alluring.

I started unbuttoning his shirt for most of our private make-out sessions, kissing his chest and stroking his back. Eventually, he began responding in kind, just a little: he'd run his hands under my top. I found I liked that immensely: his skin on my skin was blissful. Before long, my shirt was removed along with his whenever we had private time. Our kisses and touches became more uninhibited every day, and I was trying to take in the feelings that accompanied the pleasure. My body was electrified, loving any and all contact with Jacob; but I also felt a little like a bowstring pulled too tight.

Once again, it was Jacob who, unintentionally, made me realize I had to stop spinning my wheels and take a stand. One evening, he stopped a marathon makeout session rather suddenly, saying he thought we should probably head home. I was surprised, and more than a little disappointed, but he rather shakily insisted. I thought he must be unwell. "Are you okay?"

"Sure, sure," he muttered, starting the car.

I looked at him more closely. He was breathing shallowly, and his eyes were glassy. I knew from...well, I just knew, that he was in an decidedly erect state. His hands clenched on the steering wheel.

I realized I'd been a little unkind. While I was experimenting and letting my slow-moving nature develop in its own good time, Jacob had been growing more and more uncomfortable. I hadn't meant to tease him, but that's exactly what I'd been doing.

We said a slightly stilted goodnight, and he went back to his house. As for me, the experience woke me up. I'd been delaying things, almost as a reflex. I didn't want to do that any more. I was ready.

The next time we went out for the evening, this time to a movie, I suggested afterward we go for a walk. Jacob seemed a little hesitant, but agreed. I pointed out a side trail along the river valley, one we both liked walking by night when it was deserted. I could see Jacob disputing with himself. "Please, Jake," I said quietly. "It's so beautiful out here tonight." Of course, he gave in.

He parked the car near the trailhead and we started out. I could see his jaw clench as I took the utility blanket from the trunk and brought it along. We'd used it before when we went into the woods at night, just to keep our clothes clean when we lay on the ground together. I felt a stab of pity for Jacob, but reminded myself that all would soon be well.

I took my time; I didn't want to make him feel pressured. We walked together, holding hands, until we came to a patch of higher ground close to the river. It was deserted for miles around; I could tell. Not a whiff of human. I casually tossed the blanket down on top of the layer of dry leaves. "Sit with me?" I asked, dropping onto the ground and pulling him by the hand. He sighed, and let himself be drawn.

He held back a little - for a while at least - but ultimately he let himself be swept along. We found ourselves lying, closely entwined and partially undressed. I waited until his heart beat faster than mine and his breath was coming out in little moans, then I made my move.

I rolled so he was under me, and pulled my blouse the rest of the way off. He made a little noise, and his eyes moved restlessly from my face to my upper body and back again. I reached for the snap of his jeans.

He jerked as though startled, and put his hand over mine. "Nessie..."

"It's okay, Jacob. Let me."

He quickly sat up, moving slightly out of my reach. "Ness, I know we haven't talked about this..."

I watched him. He looked very uneasy. "About what?"

"Look, I think it might be better if we waited."

"Waited?"

"Until we're married."

I didn't give the obvious response: that we'd pretty much given up waiting some time ago. "But...why? I didn't think you were so..."

He grimaced. "It might sound stupid, but I know it's important to Edward."

"Why would he even have to know?" He gave me a look. "Oh, I know, but we can keep things from him for a few months. This is between us, anyway."

"I'd like to do the right thing. Not just for your family, but for you and me. I want it to mean something."

I thought quickly. "Okay, I understand. I love that. But...what we've been doing until now...?"

"Um..." He looked embarrassed. "I know. I just couldn't seem to stop things once they'd started."

"Me neither," I admitted. I heard his heart speed up slightly at that.

"But I'd still like to draw the line, you know, until after the wedding."

I put my arms around his neck. "Okay." He nodded, kissing me gently on the eyebrows, the cheekbones. "But...can I have some input about _where_ we draw the line?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"The traditional line-drawing place. Well, _new_ traditional."

"Meaning what?"

"What I guess they'd call 'everything but'."

"We're almost there already. These last few weeks, anyway."

"No. Not _quite_ there."

Determined now, I rolled back on top of him, reaching once again for the snap of his fly. He seemed wary, but didn't actually stop me. I undid the zipper, aware of my own heart pounding, looked into his eyes and reached my hand inside.

"Nessie..." He was still struggling with whether this fit into his plan. I hoped he wouldn't have to struggle long.

No underwear - that made things simpler. He was smooth, hard and flaming hot, and he fit into my hand perfectly. He stopped protesting almost immediately, and I luxuriated in every moan and whimper, every involuntary movement. I could almost feel his tension build as I stroked him, and I could all but taste the pleasure myself. I concentrated on doing whatever seemed to make him feel good, until he suddenly clutched at me, holding me firmly as though he thought I'd float away.

"Nessie," he said through his teeth, "I'm..."

"I know. It's okay."

A moment later his body arched convulsively; he moaned wildly, and I felt him spasm under my hand. I couldn't put into words how it made me feel, watching him. He was magnificent. I felt what I assumed to be sympathetic sensations. Interesting ones.

He relaxed at last, opened his eyes and looked at me. I loved his expression: so peaceful and happy, and so full of love.

"Nessie," he said, still breathless. "Aw, _man_!"

I giggled. Eloquent as always! "So are we okay with drawing the line here?"

"A little late for me to argue now, isn't it?"

"Yes."

We both laughed. He rather sheepishly cleaned himself up with some fallen leaves, zipped his pants, and pulled me down to lie in his arms. We kissed and held each other, but this time without the tension radiating off Jacob. I couldn't believe I'd let myself overlook it for so long.

After a few minutes, our kissing began to intensify, and our hands to wander. We were already half undressed, so it didn't take much effort. Jacob seemed to have changed his approach slightly, though. He was kissing me in a deliberate way, caressing my throat with his lips in a way I liked, and spending a lot of time teasing my breasts with his mouth. The taut bowstring feeling was coming back. It was both pleasant and uncomfortable, but I didn't want it to stop. I ran my hands through Jacob's long hair, unconsciously holding him to me.

"Nessie," he murmured close to my ear.

He sounded like he was making a request. Did he want me to do it again? Not that I'd have minded, but I thought there was usually more of a pause. "Mm hm?"

"You too?"

"What?" I couldn't quite make sense of his question. I thought it was probably because I was distracted.

"Let me touch you, too?" To illustrate, he put his hand on the waistband of my slacks, preparing to undo the button. "Is it okay?"

"Um...I think so." Even after what we'd just done, it felt like a leap.

"Can you let me know when you're sure?" He kept kissing me the way he'd been doing, this time sliding his hand slowly up and down the inside of my thigh. That caused some amazing sensations in every part of my body. I was nervous, but it was becoming clear that I was on the far side of ready.

"Okay. I think so," i whispered, my breathing so fast I could hardly talk. "I mean...I've never felt this. It's a little scary."

He kissed me gently on the lips. "How about this. I'll start, and the second you get scared or don't like it, you tell me to stop. I promise I will."

I took a deep breath and nodded. Slowly, gently, he undid and removed the rest of my clothes. He went on kissing and stroking me, as before. It was amazing how different being naked made it feel. He moved his hand up my thigh, down my stomach, gradually moving toward the obvious focal point. Said focal point was really starting to make its feelings known. The tense but pleasant feeling, still running through my body, had become concentrated in that one area. I found myself inhaling sharply every time his hand came close. When he finally touched me there, I whimpered and arched up slightly toward him.

I saw him smile. "Okay?"

"Yes. Oh, yes."

He began to move his hand, to gently, gently stroke and rub, still kissing me and watching my reactions to see what pleased me most. Every move he made was perfect. The sweetest pleasure I'd ever known was coursing through me. At the same time, that tense craving I'd felt before was building, making it seem absolutely vital that Jacob not, under any circumstances, stop what he was doing.

It took me a while, that first time. Jacob began to coax me softly. "It's okay, Nessie. It's fine. Just relax and let go." I tried to do what he was telling me, but when I did, the sensation began to shoot up into a fountain of insanely brilliant pleasure, too much for me to bear, and I'd clamp down on it again. At last, with Jacob's urging, I was able to let go. Oh my. Joy surged through my body. The pleasure was ludicrous, excessive, preposterous. It seemed to go on forever, but I realized afterward it was less than a minute. Talk about life-changing earthquakes. I didn't think I'd ever feel like the same person again.

I lay there panting, stunned. Then I looked up at Jacob, who bent to kiss me. "Everything all right?"

"Perfect." I let myself be pulled into his arms. "Wow. That was...words fail me. Was it like that for you?"

He grinned. "More or less the same, I assume."

"Good. I'm _so_ glad. I want you to feel like that. I want to make you feel that way as often as possible."

"No argument from me." He kissed me again. "But what about you? Do _you_ want to do that as often as possible?"

"Oh, yes." I sighed deeply, and he laughed, hugging me closer. "Very much yes. I want to arrange my daily schedule around it. Oh, my goodness. How do people ever manage to do anything _else_?"

He smiled wider. "I've created a monster."

"I was already a monster."

"No you're not. You're the perfect woman."

We lay a while, holding each other tightly. Then Jacob very sweetly offered to do for me once more, and I returned the favour. It was even better the second time. At long last, we returned to the car and went home.

Out of consideration for my family, we were carefully discreet about our newly evolved relationship. We never carried on at Jacob's house or anywhere near the family home. We never spent the whole night away; I always came home to sleep at a fairly reasonable hour. We never indulged in overt PDA in front of the others. I wasn't sure if I could hide things entirely from them - especially from my dad - but I was determined to at least respect their feelings as far as I could.

I could make any concession - as long as Jacob and I continued doing what we were doing. I was definitely hooked.


	6. Angst

As a couple, Jacob and I were nothing if not low maintenance, but even an easygoing pair like ourselves weren't completely able to avoid a little angst over the course of the engagement.

We had only been engaged a short time when we were asked to make a trip to Arizona. Momma's mother, Grandma Renee, was dying of cancer, and Momma and Poppa had worked out a complicated scenario which would let them be with her during her final few days. I actually volunteered to go along; I wanted to see my grandmother one last time. Jacob came with me, naturally. I'd always liked Renee, although I hadn't been able to know her well, and it was strange to think she'd cease to exist before long.

Sad though it was, I was glad I went. Momma needed all the support she could get at a time like this.

On our way to Arizona, we stopped off to visit Grandpa Charlie, and Jacob took me to the reserve to say hello to the pack. I was especially happy to see Seth, for the first time since his wedding. He and his wife, Hannah, were as fairy-tale as any of my family: totally absorbed in each other. Especially Seth. He looked at his Hannah as if she were some kind of miracle. It was nice, and kind of oddly familiar.

Jacob and I took rooms in the same Phoenix hotel as Momma and Poppa - but several floors up from theirs. Even on our own like this, we continued to respect boundaries: we'd spend time together in one room or the other, but go to our separate rooms to sleep. Much as the idea of falling asleep in Jacob's arms appealed to me, that was one more thing we were saving until after the wedding.

We stayed there several weeks, while Renee became sicker and weaker. I did, at least, get to visit her a few times before things got very bad, and she was finally hospitalized for good.

"I keep thinking about being in Momma's situation," I told Jacob one night, alone in his hotel room. "Waiting for my mother to die. I don't know how I could take it if Momma..."

"I know. But at least you never need to worry about that."

"Yes. It must be hard for her, though."

"It's something every human goes through," he pointed out.

I just shook my head. It was hard to fathom a life in which all my loved ones would eventually die. "I'm so grateful I don't. I never have to worry about losing you, either."

He held me closer. "Not as long as I keep going wolf on a regular basis."

That reminded me of something I'd wondered about. "Why did Seth stop phasing? You never said."

He looked vaguely uncomfortable. "It was after he met Hannah. He wanted to age along with her."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that. It's giving up a lot, though."

"Seth doesn't see it that way."

Something in his voice caught my attention. "How does he see it?"

He shrugged. "Hannah's the most important thing in the world to him. Nothing he could do for her would feel like a sacrifice."

"Almost like Sam with Emily."

"Exactly like that."

"Only Sam had that imprinting thing."

He looked surprised. "Sam told you about that?"

"A long time ago. Well, he didn't tell me on purpose. I don't think he realized I was listening. I was just a baby then."

"Right. Easy to forget you only_ looked_ like a baby."

"So are you saying Seth imprinted on Hannah?" I was shocked, to be honest.

"Um, yeah." He seemed a little uneasy. A moment later he suggested going down to the hotel pool for a swim.

We attended Renee's funeral and returned home a few days later. The whole family did what we could to comfort Momma, who took the loss pretty hard. She was unusually quiet for the next few days as she grieved. She seemed to feel better after spending some time with Jacob and me, reminiscing about Renee and telling odd stories about her. I could see her getting back to normal.

It was Momma's stories that made me ask Jacob about events out of our own past. Our early past, when I was still a baby or a child. "How is it you ended up coming with us when we first moved away from Forks?" He was helping me straighten up my studio while we talked.

He seemed startled by the question. "What do you mean?"

"I know you got to be friends with Poppa and Momma, especially after you helped us with the Volturi." He grimaced at the memory. "But what made you decide to actually live with us? I mean, you had to leave the pack behind, your friends. Your dad." When I was younger, I would have taken Jacob's presence for granted. He was always simply my Jacob. Once I'd started thinking of him more as a person in his own right, questions like this started to pop up.

"Well...if I stayed in Washington, I couldn't have spent time with _you_."

I grinned at him. "I know. Not that it wasn't wonderful having you there. But that wasn't enough of a reason."

I was surprised at the expression on his face. "Maybe it was," he said.

"What? Being with me was enough reason, you mean?"

"Sure."

"Jake, what are you talking about?"

He took a deep breath. "I couldn't be away from you, not for long. You remember. We were always together, from the day you were born."

I started to question him again, then I froze as understanding hit. Jacob, always the impossibly devoted friend. Following my family around the country, leaving his own family and friends behind. Why would he do it? I had a clear memory of Seth, looking at his wife Hannah as if she were the source of all light in the universe. The same way Sam looked at Emily. The same look I'd seen on Jacob's face a thousand times. Since the day I was born.

Jacob sat up stiffly, seeing my horrified expression. "Nessie..."

"On the day I was _born_?"

"Yeah."

"So all this time, you were..." He nodded. I stood up and started pacing without realizing it. "So you didn't really fall in love with me, you just got linked to me involuntarily."

He shook his head emphatically. "It's not like that!"

"Like some baby duck following the first thing it sees!" I felt an overpowering loss. Jacob's love, something I'd have sworn I could count on more than anything, was all a fake. "And you never said a word to me!"

"I was going to eventually," he began.

"Or to my family." He looked away. "What?" He glanced at the door to my studio, toward where my family were no doubt hearing this whole conversation. "You mean they _knew_?" His silence confirmed it. "For how long?"

"The whole time," he admitted. "Nessie, listen..."

"Since I was born? They knew about this, and didn't tell me? No, that couldn't..." I headed back to the living room and flitted instantly to my father, who was standing beside his piano, looking prepared for trouble. "This can't be true! Can it?" I begged him. I could see the others moving into a circle around us, their faces concerned. Uncle Jasper looked pained as he took in my mood.

"Well..."

"No! You wouldn't just stand by while I..." I could barely find the words. "...while I got defrauded into some sham zombie marriage? Poppa, how could you do this?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think you understand what the imprint actually means."

I was crying freely now, tears flowing and my voice choked. "It means he doesn't really love me! He _never had the choice!_ I'm just some...thing he fixated on ten years ago. And you didn't even warn me! I know you and Jake are friends, but I can't believe you'd sell me out like that!"

Before he could answer, I ran out the door. I'm not sure if any of them followed me - I wasn't paying attention - but I kept running until I found myself in the woods, sixty miles from home and with nothing but wilderness around me. I stood still at last, looking around me and trying to take in what had happened. The future I'd anticipated was gone. Jacob was gone. He was still there, of course, but it didn't matter. His love for me was a fake, a facade put on by this imprinting reflex. It was something that existed mostly in my own imagination.

One more experience I'd read about and heard about, but had never thought to experience for myself: heartbreak. It really did feel as if my heart would break, shatter to pieces and leave an empty space behind. I sat down on top of a pile of wood chips, just letting my thoughts circle and circle endlessly, not really going anywhere. Hours passed, and I started to feel tired. The thought of going home to sleep repelled me, and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. I curled up on the ground and slept.

I woke up a few hours later, still in the same position. It was, I estimated, about 5:00; the sun hadn't risen yet. I lay still, staring into the vivid darkness, trying to figure out what to do.

Even during the worst of my difficult stage, home was always home. I could never be unpleasant enough to my family, cause enough trouble for them, to change the fact that they were my family and wherever they were was my home. This was a little different. I couldn't go back and face Jacob; just looking at him and knowing that it had all been a pretense would be too painful to even think about. I closed my eyes tightly.

Then there was my family. Never, for one single second of my life, had I felt they weren't absolutely on my side. Now it seemed as if they'd all agreed to betray me. That sounded grandiose, but what else could I call it? They'd agreed among themselves to keep this thing a secret from me. They'd stood by and watched me fall in love with Jacob, agree to marry him.

It was as if everything I thought I knew was wrong, as if the universe had turned upside down and nothing made sense any more. I didn't have to make a list to know this was one of the worst nights of my life.

The only thing that made me think twice, suspect that things might not be quite as terrifying as they seemed, was the way they'd reacted to my finding out. '_I was going to tell you eventually_' Jacob had said. When? What was he expecting once he did tell me? And Poppa...he was upset when I found out, but not as if I'd stumbled on a nasty secret. It was more that he was upset because I was so confused and hurt. '_I don't think you understand what the imprint means._' I couldn't see how any new information could change things for the better, but apparently _they_ thought so.

I lay still, forcing myself to be calm, mentally sifting through the information I had so far, trying to think logically.

There were two possibilities. First, that my family, that had never been less than devoted to my wellbeing, that had never done a single thing to harm me since the day I was born, had inexplicably turned against me in this one, hugely important area of my life. Even in my grief, I had to admit that it didn't tally.

Second possibility: there was something I was missing. Something the family knew and chose to keep from me for...well, for some reason, possibly benevolent. Okay, almost certainly benevolent.

I might be unable to make assumptions about Jacob's intentions - maybe this imprinting response controlled his behaviour - but I could not explain away my entire family. They could not have acted against my best interests so coldly and deliberately. I tried to picture Momma, plotting over the years to do something that would make me so unhappy. It was simply impossible.

I sat up at last. The sun was starting to appear over the horizon. I still felt as if my heart was brittle, ready to shatter to pieces at any moment, but I realized I had to see this through. There was more going on than I understood, and I had to hear about it before I could come to any final conclusion. Reluctantly, I stood up, brushed off my clothing, and turned for home.

It took longer to get back than it had to run away, since I was moving more slowly. I wasn't sure what I'd be facing, but I expected it to be painful, and I was in no hurry. The sun crept higher in the sky as I alternately walked and ran, still thinking furiously. I looked down at the ring on my left hand, remembering how happy I'd been when Jacob gave it to me. I had no idea if I'd still be wearing it at the end of the day. I assumed not. Tears started to fall again.

I was halfway across the family's large property when the front door opened and Poppa stepped out. Apparently he'd heard me approach. I stopped where I was and looked from the house to Jacob's cottage. _Is he here?_ I thought, and Poppa shook his head, nodding toward the garage a short distance away. I continued walking across the yard and through the front door, looking around numbly at the concerned faces that surrounded me.

"Nessie, I'm _so_ glad you came back," Momma said. She looked relieved.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," I said weakly. "I just..." I started crying again. I'm really not a crier, but now I couldn't hold back. Aunt Rosalie pulled me into her arms, and I sobbed loudly on her shoulder while she rocked me and murmured quietly. Eventually I calmed down enough to notice they were all watching me, waiting. Did they want to know why I'd come back? Finding words too difficult right now, I lay my hand against Rosalie's face, showing her my rationale.

Poppa heard it as well, and said quietly to the others, "Nessie recognized we'd never do anything deliberately to harm her, so she concluded there must be more to the situation than there appeared to be. She came back to hear us out."

"Of course, we'd never do anything to hurt you, sweetheart," Esme exclaimed.

"I know. That's why I can't understand..."

"It must seem strange, but let us try to explain," Carlisle said.

"I'm listening." I realized I didn't sound very hopeful.

Poppa looked at the back door a moment. "He wants to come in. Jacob. He'd like to talk to you himself."

"No!" I tensed. "Please, I can't see him right now."

"It's all right, my love. He'll wait," Poppa said soothingly.

I calmed down again, and braced myself to hear the whole story. "So this happened the very day I was born?"

"Yes." Carlisle sat down across from where I was wedged between Momma and Aunt Rose. "He was there mainly for your protection, and your mother's. I think you understand that the pack considered you a threat?" I nodded. "The imprinting occurred the moment he saw you. He explained to us later that day what had happened, and what it meant.  
>"He also explained it to the pack, which ended the threat to you and the family. The most sacrosanct of the pack's laws is that no member may harm the imprint of another member. You were under their protection from that time forward.<br>"In practical terms, it also meant he couldn't be away from you for any length of time, so we made room for him in our lives."

I took this in. "But you decided never to tell me."

"Not necessarily _never,_" Momma explained, "but we did want to delay telling you."

"Why?" I realized my voice sounded cold. I was bracing myself for the worst.

Poppa sighed. "In virtually every case, imprinting results, eventually, in a marriage. It is hard to refuse the level of devotion one receives from an imprinted suitor." I clenched my eyes shut as tears started to fall again, and Rosalie and Momma hugged me closer. "However, there was no absolute rule about it, much less for someone like yourself." I looked at him questioningly. "A non-human," he explained. "And we didn't want it to be considered a _fait accompli._ I wasn't going to assign you to an arranged marriage at one week of age. It was important to your mother and myself that you had a free choice in the matter."

"I don't understand. How would keeping all this from me give me more of a choice?"

"You adored Jacob from the time you were a baby; he was your closest friend. We were afraid that if you knew about the imprinting, about the level of attachment it entailed, the fact the Jacob would never be able to choose a different wife for himself - you'd feel obligated to accept him. Or at least would feel culpable if you did marry someone else."

"Oh!" This truly did put a different spin on things.

"We explained our thinking to Jacob, and he agreed to keep the matter secret. It was understood that, if you did, eventually, choose Jacob of your own free will, he could tell you about the imprinting after the fact. Because then, you see, your decision would not have been affected by the knowledge."

"But what if I _had_ chosen someone else? Jacob's your friend, and he would have been..."

"It would have been hard on him, of course. But that didn't matter." I looked at him in surprise. "Well, it mattered in a sense - we did have some sympathy for his situation - but it didn't matter enough. You were our first priority. Jacob would simply have to deal with the consequences.  
>"Jacob also agreed not to initiate a relationship with you, only to follow your lead in the matter."<p>

"Yes, he did that." His actions made more sense in light of this new information. He wasn't indifferent; only leaving the choice in my hands.

"Do you understand, Nessie?" Carlisle asked. "Can you see, now, why we chose to keep this from you?"

I nodded. "Yes. I understand that much."

"But...?" Momma urged.

"I don't understand why you'd let him stay here, knowing what could happen. Why you let us get..." I looked down at my engagement ring.

"You chose him for yourself, Nessie," Poppa said.

"But he didn't choose _me_, not really. It's all fake. He doesn't really love me; he's just driven by this involuntary reflex." More tears. I'd cried more in the last 24 hours than in my entire life. Literally.

"Sweetheart, I said you didn't really understand the nature of imprinting. Try and look at this with an open mind." I sighed and nodded. "I've seen the experience through Jacob's mind, through Seth's. It's not what you think. In fact, it's surprisingly familiar."

"Familiar?"

"Yes. It may not resemble the way humans fall in love, but it is very much like the way _we_ do." He gestured to the family. The way vampires fall in love? I frowned in confusion. "When one of us finds love, it is a permanent, inexorable change. I know you understand this phenomenon. We could be said to imprint on the beloved."

"But..." I didn't like the comparison, but I could see what he meant. "But when someone imprints on a baby, a small child...?"

"That is a peculiarity of the imprinting reflex. It causes a sort of delayed reaction. The process of falling in love, of forming a bond in the adult sense, is put on indefinite hold, until the object of his affection is old enough to legitimately participate. So it was with Jacob and you."

It made sense. Jacob, my caretaker, my playmate, my friend, changing so quickly to lover once I had let him know my feelings. As if his passion had been kept in storage somewhere over the years, ready to be taken out when asked for. "But how can it mean anything for him to love me, to want to marry me? He didn't really choose me. I could be anyone - any random person he imprinted on."

"I think Jacob can explain that to you best," Poppa said. I looked at the floor. I still wasn't ready to face that. "But from what I've seen of imprinting from...the inside, it's more complicated than that. First, it does not seem to be entirely random."

"That is true," Carlisle put in. "Although we are not sure what the mechanism is, precisely, members of the pack seem to imprint on an object who is appropriate for them. They never imprint on a close relative, for example, an elderly person, a married person. They may imprint because they perceive, at an unconscious level, some degree of basic compatibility."

It still seemed like a weird, impersonal way to form a connection, but I found myself becoming fascinated with the new information.

"Second, it is not an impersonal thing," He was reading my mind, apparently. "in which the loved one is interchangeable with any other. You've seen Seth with his new wife? You were at their wedding. You could see they loved each other very deeply."

"They _seemed_ to."

"I've had the privilege of seeing the experience directly. And that of Sam and Quil, once or twice. The way they see the one they've imprinted on, it's..." He thought a second, his eyes going momentarily to Momma. "When you love someone, all their aspects come into sharper focus. Their interests, their talents, their likes and dislikes, become intriguing. Their good qualities are something to be celebrated, while their weaknesses are merely endearing."

"Sure, I understand that."

"This is the way a person who has imprinted feels about his...companion. It is as if he sees her through a special lens, one that takes away all barriers - caution, distrust, cynicism, social convention. And once he's seen her this way, he can never be indifferent. The process of imprinting merely allows him to bypass some of the steps involved in falling in love. And, of course, makes it more intense and permanent."

"He's not a zombie, like you said," Rosalie told me. "He really does love you, and he loves you for the way you are."

I struggled with the concept. "I don't know what to think. How can you call it love, when it's all the result of some biological instinct? It seems so mindless."

"I suppose," Carlisle said slowly, "you could compare it to the love of a mother for her child. That, also, is biological in origin, initiated by a simple instinctive response. The mother loves her child from the moment of birth, but you could not say she actually knows the child, not at first. Knowledge and appreciation of the child's individual characteristics follows, rather than precedes, the attachment. Yet you would not suggest that her love is not genuine."

"No," I said thoughtfully.

"You had much the same response," Poppa told me.

"Me?"

"Your love for your mother. I heard your thoughts shortly before you were born. You loved her before you met her, before you knew her."

"Yes, I remember."

"Now, having known her all your life, you love her for her many fine qualities, but that came later. At first, the reaction was pure instinct. In the same way, Jacob loves and admires you for who and what you are, even if his affection originated spontaneously, before he really knew you."

"You _know_ that?"

"Yes. On this subject, his mind could not be clearer."

I thought a moment. "I understand everything you're telling me but...it still seems so strange."

"Understandable," Carlisle aid, "but it is natural to Jacob. Part of what he is."

"Yes." I'd have to accept this in order to accept him. "I feel so stupid for never realizing, all these years."

"You never noticed with Seth, either," Poppa pointed out.

"So?"

"So maybe that's because there's nothing to notice. They just seem like...men in love. Given your concept of imprinting, you'd have expected to see a mindless puppet."

"I suppose so." I quickly went over the conversation so far in my mind. "I guess that all makes sense."

Momma hugged me closer to her side. "Will you be okay with this, then?"

"I think I will. Once I get a little more used to it."

I could almost feel the relief fill the room.

"Then, if you feel up to it," Poppa said hesitantly, "could you speak with Jacob? He's been waiting quietly outside, but I can't say he's doing it patiently. He's very upset."

"He is?" I glanced toward the back of the house where he was apparently stationed.

"Yes. He's concerned you were planning to break off the engagement, which he'd find deeply distressing. That you no longer loved him, which upset him even more. And that you were hurt and unhappy, which he finds most unbearable of all."

Yeah, that sounded like Jacob. I gave everyone within reach a quick hug, took a deep breath, and headed for the back door and outside, to where he was waiting.


	7. Making Plans

Our one bit of serious premarital drama out of the way, the next item on our personal agenda was planning for the actual wedding, and any changes that might be taking place afterward. Like my moving out of the main house and into Jacob's cottage.

Esme had been consulting with us about alterations we'd like made to Jake's house, in preparation for his taking on a permanent roommate. The remodelling plans made the whole situation more real for me. I'd be living with Jacob as his wife, just a few months from now.

As for the wedding itself, Aunt Alice had been poised for this event ever since Jacob and I had become an item. She began sitting me down whenever I had a spare moment to discuss matters I'd never formed any opinion on, such as the proper number of tiers for a wedding cake. When I kept answering her questions with a blank look, she tried to pin me down.

"Have you decided on any of the wedding details at all?"

"It's supposed to be in June."

"Do you have an actual date?"

"Not so far."

She gave a long-suffering sigh. "And do you know _where_ the wedding is supposed to take place?"

I admitted that I didn't.

She just sat and looked at me until I said, "Okay. I'll talk to Jacob about it. Today."

"Get back to me," she said grimly, walking off with her wedding-planner notebook. I went to find Jacob.

"I didn't realize how easy I had it," I heard Momma say as I left, "having all the decisions taken out of my hands."

I picked up Jacob's wolfy-human scent coming from the garage, and found him with his head under the hood of his big black Audi. He peered out from underneath as I came in. "Hi."

"Hi. Something wrong with the car?"

"Nope. Just routine maintenance." He knew better than to give me details. "Something up?"

"Kind of. Aunt Alice has been waiting for information, so she can start arranging the wedding."

"What kind of information?"

"Well, we still haven't set a date."

"Yeah, that's kind of essential."

"And we have to decide where it's supposed to be."

He closed the hood and wiped his hands on a piece of rag. "Again, pretty basic."

"We have to figure out what we're doing."

"Fair enough." He leaned against the car, and I moved in beside him, just so we could make contact. "Where do _you_ want to have the wedding?"

"Well...at first, I was thinking it would be nice to get married right at home. But then I remembered Grandpa Charlie and Sue, and your dad and sisters. And Seth and your other friends. If they're going to be at the wedding, it might make more sense to have it back in Washington."

"Good. Yeah, that does make sense."

We started walking together around the perimeter of the Cullen property, sometimes holding hands, sometimes with an arm around each other.

"Forks isn't the usual choice for a destination wedding," I remarked.

He laughed. "Far from it. This is probably the area's first."

"What about the date? A weekend, I assume."

"How about the last Saturday in June?"

"Why the last Saturday?"

"Why not?"

I laughed. "Fair enough." I quickly calculated the date.

"What else do we need to know?"

"Well, how many people will be there? That would be important."

We started running through the possible guests while I kept tally. Including my family, the Denali cousins and a couple of other golden-eyed friends; special humans like Charlie and Sue; and Jacob's pack and other Quileute friends and family, we ended up with about fifty people.

"The rest of the pack are going nuts over this," Jacob told me.

"Really?"

"Well, pack leader getting married an everything. I guess they consider it a big deal." He grinned, a little embarrassed. "I'm trying to talk them out of some kind of massive bachelor party-slash-homecoming ceremony."

"I'm glad they're okay with this. With me, that is."

"Oh, sure. They accepted you a long time ago."

I shook my head at the strange set of circumstances that had led us to where we now were.

"Well, we'll try to give them a good party."

Jacob chuckled. "If there's lots of food and some decent music, they'll be happy."

We kept walking, leaning against each other. "We never talked about going on a honeymoon."

"No, we didn't. Why didn't I think of the honeymoon? Should we take a trip? Just the two of us?"

We grinned at each other. "Where?"

"I don't know. Maybe just a road trip."

"That could be fun."

"We could drive as far as southern California. It's supposed to be beautiful down there." It was also, he didn't say out loud, a place I'd never go with my family. Too sunny.

"I'd like that."

"Okay. We can start making travel plans. Anything else we need to decide?"

"Not that I can think of. Esme's taking care of turning your house from a bachelor pad into a couple's place."

"There's already plenty of room for both of us, I think. It's not like we need a second bedroom." He leered at me briefly, and I laughed. His remark made me think of something.

"I hope it's not sad for you at all that it'll always be the two of us."

"Why would that be sad? It's exactly what I want."

"No, I mean...that there will never be more of us. No children. I'm a mule, remember?" That was a running joke of mine: a mule, as in the healthy but sterile cross between a horse and a donkey. Although half human, I'd inherited the infertility of the vampire side of my heritage.

Jacob shook his head. "Not an issue."

"Are you just saying that?"

"You're what I want, Nessie. The only thing I really can't live without - and now I never have to. I can't imagine anyone being _less_ sad than I am." I may have looked skeptical. "If we could have kids together - and if you wanted to - that would be great. But I honestly can't say I feel like I'm missing anything. Maybe I'm just not the paternal type, but I haven't thought twice about it. It doesn't bother _you_, does it?" he asked, a little anxiously.

"No. Maybe because I've known it wasn't possible for most of my life. Like you said, it's kind of a nice idea in theory, but that's all. I don't have any regrets. All I want is you."

"Then you're in luck. You got me."

That necessitated a brief pause at the far end of the property, under a tall pine tree, to kiss and stare at each other. Sometimes it was just called for. We eventually walked on.

"What else do we need to decide?"

"I have to choose a bridesmaid, and you need a best man."

"Right. I was thinking maybe Seth."

"Perfect. He'd love that."

"And we have to get rings."

"Check. And Alice will want you to get fitted for a suit."

He sighed. "I can do that."

"What else?"

"Are you changing your name to Black?"

"Sure. I come from a very traditional family, you know."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know."

I hesitated. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"About when you first started staying with my family." He nodded. "You were their enemies to begin with, even though you ended up fighting on their side. There's some kind of instinctive animosity in place."

"Yeah, there was. And for 99% of the vampires we'd encounter, it was justified. There aren't many vegetarians around."

"That's true. But then, you find their smell offensive; you didn't have that much in common with the way they live. Didn't you ever find it hard, leaving your home and everyone you knew, to be with them?"

"I never found it hard."

"Really? Never?"

"Only in a vague, kind of theoretical way. I knew I wasn't considered a true member of their family." That surprised me, although once he mentioned the fact, it was certainly true. He was omitted from family meetings and not involved in family decisions. Everyone treated him with great kindness and affection, but in practice he was little more than a tenant. "I was a little out of place. But it didn't matter. I had to be with you. As long as you were there, nothing else was important."  
>He caught my expression and laughed. "No, don't go feeling sorry for me. I was happy. I've always been adaptable. And I had what I wanted."<p>

"But now that we're getting married, and I won't be living at home with them any more..."

"What?"

"Would you rather live on our own? Away from the family?"

He looked surprised. "You wouldn't like to be away from them."

"Well, no. Not for long. But if it's better for you..."

"Don't worry about me. I'd rather not be living in the actual house with them, but as long as we have a place of our own, I'm delirious. Honest, Ness."

I nodded. "Okay, then. But maybe a honeymoon by ourselves wouldn't be such a bad idea."

He gave me a big smile. "And maybe even a vacation once a year or so after that."

I felt unusually close to Jacob, and was starting to realize that I'd taken him for granted to a certain extent. I remembered something that I'd once wondered about. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Ask away."

"Did you ever, you know, have any other girlfriend? Before me, that is?"

"No. There hasn't been anybody. You know that; I've been with you your entire life, and I didn't even look at other girls. I couldn't."

Part of the imprinting thing. At once reassuring and a little sad. "What about before I was born? You must have had some, well, some interest in girls, and there was nothing keeping you from dating back then." I wasn't sure what I wanted the answer to be.

"Well, sure, I noticed girls back then. I took a slight interest in a couple of them. But I was pretty young. I never had a serious girlfriend. And then you came along."

"So there was nobody?" He hesitated a long time. "Maybe I shouldn't ask."

"It's not that. It's just...you might find it a little weird."

"Weird? Why?"

"For a while, I had kind of a crush on your mother." He watched my reaction tensely.

"Momma? I thought you were always just friends."

"We were. There was never anyone for her except Edward. It was just a passing thing, back when I was sixteen."

"I see." I frowned. He might be playing this down, but if so, I was going to let him. "Yeah, that's a little weird, but I guess it's okay. It's in the past. _You_ don't feel weird about it, do you?"

"No. It doesn't mean anything, especially now. There's nobody else for me but you."

I smiled at him. "No other girls?"

"None that I did more than look at." He looked at me sidewise. "What about you? Weren't there any guys in high school that you had your eye on?"

"No. I think I hit puberty and noticed you in practically the same instant. Nobody else ever stood a chance." I told him about my experience at the school, when I first noticed other girls noticing him; how it had set off a slow-moving reaction.

"I was kissed by a boy once," I admitted, "but without my consent."

"What?" He looked affronted. "When was this?"

"My sophomore year. This annoying kid grabbed me one day and kissed me. On a dare, I think. I kicked him in the shin."

"You should've told me," he said grimly.

"There was no need to start a vendetta. He left me alone after that. Anyway, that was the extent of my love life before you and I got together."

"Some people would find our lack of experience pretty pathetic." I laughed. What did we care what other people thought? We were circling back to the house for the second time. "Anything else we need to discuss?"

"About the wedding? Any other details you and Alice can work out between you. I have no personal opinion on wedding veils or flowers or whatever. I'll be good with whatever you decide."

"Fair enough. Take the consequences."

We returned to the house and I went in search of Alice; she was sitting under the dining table, sketching centerpieces. She fixed me with an expectant look as I entered.

I sat down on the floor, facing her. "June 25," I said without preamble. "In Washington. Fifty people. Three tiers on the wedding cake."

"Well, that's a start." We put together a guest list and set a date to go bridal gown shopping. "I can move forward very well with just this," Alice said cheerfully. "Let me know if you think of anything specific you want added."

"Will do." I left her to her notebook and headed purposefully toward the sewing room, where Aunt Rosalie was altering a dress. "Hi, Auntie Rose."

"Hello, sweetie." She kept sewing as she looked up at me. "June 25, hmm?"

"Yes. I hope that works for everybody. If not, there's still plenty of time to change it."

"As far as I know, it's good."

"Okay. Can I ask you a favour?"

"Anything. Is it something to do with the wedding?"

"Yes, actually. Feel free to refuse, but it would mean a lot to me if you'd be my bridesmaid."

She was surprised. In fact, I was surprised at how surprised she was. "Me? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You're my special aunt, after all. And you'll look beautiful in a bridesmaid's dress, even a really tacky one."

She laughed. "Like Alice would let you buy anything tacky for this occasion!"

"Good point."

"But what about the others?" I could see she wanted to accept, and was just trying to be polite.

"I can only have one bridesmaid. Well, I'd prefer only one. This isn't a royal wedding. Aunt Alice is already my wedding planner, Momma is my mother and Esme is my grandmother. You're the perfect choice."

She hugged me almost violently. "I'd be very, very happy to be your bridesmaid." She gave me one last squeeze. "Ill even wear whatever dress you choose for me, without a word of complaint."

"Some people would take that as a challenge."

She laughed musically. "Do your worst!"

I kissed her and walked out of the room. "I mean it," I called over my shoulders. "Be prepared for anything. Lime green sequins." Her happy chuckle followed me. "Paisley! Hoop skirts! Anything is possible." I heard Alice's laugh from upstairs.

It looked like everything would proceed smoothly from here on. Unfortunately, only two weeks later I was figuratively chewing my nails, worrying about how the wedding plans had got so far off track, and how to correct them. One day Alice sat me down and fixed me with a stern look.

"Jasper says you're unhappy with the wedding plans. He _thinks_ it's the wedding plans, at least."

"Oh! Well...yeah."

"What I don't understand is, why you didn't tell me immediately. How often have I told you, let me know what your preferences are. I'm here to make sure you get the wedding you want."

"I know, Aunt Alice."

"So what's the problem? And be specific. A wedding is made up of minute details." I hesitated. "Out with it, girl!"

"That's the thing, Alice. It's not the details. It's the general...theme, I guess you'd say." She waited for me to continue. "See, this isn't _my_ wedding. It's mine and Jacob's."

"Well, fine. What's wrong from his perspective?"

"It's not that he's said anything. But...this is apparently a special occasion for the pack. Their leader's getting married. They're very excited, wanting to have all kinds of celebrations and ceremonies. It's a very big deal. That's something that should be reflected in the wedding."

"I see."

"And since Jacob is so important to them, and since his people make up at least half the guests, the wedding ought to include some Quileute elements in the ceremony."

"I wouldn't even know what those are!"

"Well, it wouldn't be too hard to find out, would it? Seth's wedding used Quileute traditions. Maybe we could combine those with usual vows."

"Yes, I suppose." She was looking thoughtful. "What else?"

"I was thinking, instead of having the wedding at a location in Forks, maybe we could hold it right on the reserve. It would also make it easier to stay inconspicuous. We wouldn't have to avoid being seen, since almost everyone there knows who we are. It would simplify things."

"But what kind of facilities do they have on the reserve for a wedding?"

"Most weddings are held in their community centre. It's a big post and beam wooden building. Not fancy, but I'm sure you could do something with it."

"Not exactly the Grand Ballroom at the Plaza, is it?"

"No, but it has a lot more to do with the people actually getting married."

"Point taken. Okay. This will be a completely personalized wedding that fits both you _and_ Jacob like a glove. I'll just have to change direction a bit."

She grilled me for a while, asking rapid fire questions which, for the most part, seemed to have no relevance. Then she went online briefly to determine the community centre's dimensions. "Larger than I'd expected," she reported back to me. "This is doable."

"Good."

"We'll have to talk again, but I'm making the preliminary changes." She walked off, deep in thought.

The following Saturday was set aside for wedding dress shopping. It took some doing to keep Jacob from coming along, especially since I took his side. I now found being away from him as unpleasant as he did. I protested that the groom not seeing the dress was a silly superstition, but the combined arguments of all the female Cullens prevailed. I sulked, just a little, as we drove off toward town, Esme, Rosalie, Alice, Momma and me.

"Come on, Nessie," Alice urged me. "Think of it as a fun girls' night out. Girls' day, that is. It's no place for guys."

"I suppose so."

"Do you have a style of gown in mind?" Rosalie asked me.

"Not really. Aunt Alice showed me a lot of pictures of wedding dresses, and I picked out the ones I liked, but they didn't seem to have anything in common. You couldn't find a parallel feature among them."

"That's what you think," Alice said cryptically.

As Rosalie parked the car, Alice added, "Bear in mind that the dress we buy today doesn't have to be final. We can take the basic prototype and work on it at home. Don't think you have to settle."

I nodded, and allowed myself to be led inside.

The shopping trip went well, for everyone except the woman who was supposed to be managing the visit - a nice middle aged lady named Ellen who introduced herself as our bridal co-ordinator. She wasn't given much opportunity to co-ordinate. Alice simply took over the event, with Rosalie acting as her deputy, invading the employees-only stockroom mere minutes after our arrival. Esme and Momma stayed with me and helped me try on dresses and model them for the group. Under Alice's direction, we quickly narrowed down our choices until we arrived at one.

I honestly hadn't had the wedding fantasies a lot of brides supposedly go through. I'd thought about being married to Jacob, living with him, even going on a honeymoon with him. I hadn't thought that much about the wedding itself. Once I put on Alice's final selection, I found myself grinning at the reflection in the mirror. I could easily imagine myself back at LaPush with Grandpa and Seth and all Jacob's friends, laughing, dancing, cutting the wedding cake. I could even picture myself walking up the aisle.

The dress was a simple summer gown with short sleeves and a wide bateau neckline. A narrow, pale gold sash cinched the high waistline, and the skirt fell in loose, graceful folds that flowed gently when I walked. No train, no extra embellishment, and it wasn't too formal for the wedding we were planning. After discussing possibilities for my hair, we'd all agreed to just let the curls fall where they would. I'd wear a veil attached to a little white brocade headband.

We left with the headpiece and veil, and a bridesmaid's dress for Rosalie in shades of gold, as well as the wedding dress itself. The staff were taken aback at Alice's insistence on actually taking the dress with us, which was apparently unprecedented. They were reluctant to give it up at first. I think bribery may have come into play. We needed to have it, though, because the family would trust no one but themselves to do the final alterations.

At home, I was coerced into putting the dress on one more time so Rosalie could do some initial chalk markings and start on the sewing, then I was released and urged to go play with Jacob. I ran back downstairs and into his arms.

"Got everything you need?" he asked.

"Everything. It's a beautiful wedding dress, Jake. You'll love it."

"If you're in it, of course I'll love it." He was a lot more at ease about being affectionate in front of my family than he used to be.

"You're next, Buster," Alice called from upstairs.

"Me?"

"Yes. We're picking you a suit, one week from today."

"Thanks for the warning."

We spent some time with my family. I lost a chess game to Jasper, and won one against my mother, while Jacob and Poppa talked about the upcoming wedding and how everyone at LaPush were taking the news. Carlisle shared news from the hospital, and Esme made some tentative suggestions about our next location. "And we'll have to make sure the adjoining house meets with the approval of both residents," she added, smiling at Jacob and me. I think Esme was happiest of all about our upcoming wedding; but then, she'd always been especially fond of Jacob.

As the sun began to set, I looked at the clock. "We were going to go check out the downtown jazz festival," I reminded Jacob. "Maybe we should get going." It was quite early, but he didn't object. We said our goodbyes and went to get Jake's car out of the garage.

"So did you actually enjoy the bridal shopping?" he asked as we sped down the highway toward the city. "Or were you only being polite?"

"No, I liked it. I'm starting to get into the wedding part."

"As opposed to what?"

"The being married part. The wedding is starting to be fun."

"I'm looking forward to it. Although the being married part remains my favourite."

"Good." We grinned at each other.

"So why are we going an hour early?"

"I don't know. Just in case we wanted to stop anywhere on the way."

"Stop anywhere?"

"Sure. Like that trail where you proposed to me."

He glanced over at me. "You think we might want to stop _there_? It's a little out of our way."

"But it's such a beautiful spot."

"I guess so." He still looked a bit confused.

"Very secluded," I added.

"Yeah." He looked at me more carefully. It had been a few days since we'd been...private together, and he seemed to be picking up on that fact at last.

"We could stop there for a bit, and still have plenty of time at the festival." I paused. "If you want."

The car's speed increased slightly.


	8. Midsummer Night

The following morning, Sunday morning, Jacob came by early for the usual weekly brunch for one. Well, for one and a quarter, since I participated in the eating to a limited extent. I confined myself to pancakes and syrup. When I did eat human food, I preferred sweets and simple carbohydrates, not the healthiest choices for humans although they seemed to agree with me. Carlisle theorized that my system, which preferred blood, accepted human food best if it was closest to its most basic usable form: glucose. He was working on a way to test this hunch.

When the food was done, Jake and I washed the dishes, talking and laughing as we did. When we turned back to the living room, I was surprised to see the entire family assembled, looking somehow expectant.

"We were hoping to have a short family meeting," Carlisle explained.

"Oh! Okay. Maybe we can go for a walk or something," I replied, looking at Jacob.

"We'd like you to join us, if you could."

Jacob looked as surprised as I did. This was a first. I gestured _it's up to you_ at Jake, and we followed the others to the table.

Everyone formed a circle around the table, as usual, making room for Jacob and me, between Poppa's usual place and Uncle Emmett's.

Carlisle noticed our expressions and smiled. "There's nothing to worry about. It's only that we had to discuss certain aspects of your upcoming wedding, and thought you should certainly be involved."

"The wedding?" Jacob looked relieved, but only slightly. "You have some problem with it?"

"No!" Esme said firmly. "None of us are anything but happy about the two of you being married."

"What we want to discuss are certain logistical concerns regarding the location of the wedding," Carlisle explained. "You've suggested holding the wedding on the Quileute reserve. We need to be certain that is acceptable to everyone concerned."

"You mean, to the Quileutes themselves? To the pack?"

"Either or both. The treaty still, officially, excludes us from their territory. They may or may not wish to make an exception for the wedding. They may even consider it an impertinence for us to request it. I would not want this event to cause any renewal of ill will between us, after such a hard-won peace."

"I see the problem," Jacob said, frowning.

"I'm sorry I didn't think of it before," I said. "I've always visited LaPush, and everyone there is so nice to me, I guess I don't think about how it doesn't apply..."

"...to the rest of your family," Jacob finished.

"Yeah. Should we just change our plans?" I looked at Carlisle.

He shook his head. "Jacob would be the authority on this particular issue."

Jacob shrugged. "I've been in touch with some of the pack since they got word of the engagement. They're happy about it - and not just sounding happy to be polite, but really celebrating."

"It's a big event for the pack leader to be getting married, I'm told," Alice put in.

"Well...yeah." Jacob looked a little embarrassed. "Which is why I can't see them minding too much. I think they'd like to have it on the reserve."

"It should be clarified, though," Carlisle said. "They may not have thought about the fact that the wedding would involve the presence of several vampires."

"Fifteen, I think?" Rosalie asked

"And a half," Emmett amended, smiling at me.

"And _two_ halves, to be exact. Nahuel will probably come along with Tanya."

"Enough to cause a nervous reaction in the wolf pack," Emmett agreed.

"What do you think, Jacob?" Carlisle asked. "Should we attempt it?"

"I think I should talk to my father first, before anybody else hears about the plans. He'd have a better idea of how the others would react. If he thinks it would be a problem, we can change the venue. If he thinks it might work out, I can let him have a little private talk with some of the key players, and get back to me."

"That sounds like an excellent plan," Carlisle agreed. The others nodded.

"Should I call him now?" Jacob glanced at the wall clock.

"If you wouldn't mind, we'd like to go over certain other wedding details before you present him with the idea. His reaction to those might also be pertinent."

"Sure. What other details?"

Carlisle looked over at Alice, who spoke up. "You haven't expressed any preferences as far as the ceremony goes. In particular, who you want as officiant. I gather part of the ceremony is to be traditional Quileute. Can we get some detail on how the wedding would be conducted, and by who? It might matter to your dad and the others."

Jacob glanced at me. "Nessie and I were just starting to talk this over, and we were going to run a few things past you. All of you, that is. Under usual circumstances, Old Quil, being the tribal elder, would perform the Quileute part of the ceremony. It's very brief and uncomplicated, and most couples include the conventional wedding vows as well."

"Okay," Alice said. "Who would be officiant for the vows part?"

Jake and I looked at each other. "Maybe this is something that should be asked first in private," I said, "but we were hoping that Carlisle would be willing."

He looked startled. "Lord love you, that is an incredible honour, but...I have no clerical or legal standing to perform weddings."

"Yes, but if you were okay with it," I said, "there's a church that provides clerical licenses, mostly for the purpose of performing weddings. They provide the vast majority of these mail-order clergy forms. Almost nobody is turned down. It's all completely legal and above-board."

"I see." He appeared to be at a loss.

"I know it's asking a lot, Grandpa, but it would mean so much to me. But I don't want to pressure you," I added hastily. "If you're uncomfortable with the idea, we can make other arrangements."

"No, my dear. I would be more than happy to do this. I was merely surprised by the request." Now that he'd absorbed it all, I could see the genuine pleasure in his expression. I was glad he wasn't agreeing merely out of obligation. I ran over to give him a quick hug before returning to my place, grinning happily at him and getting a full-fledged smile in return.

"So the marriage will be legal under these circumstances?" Rosalie asked.

"I don't think it will be legal regardless. We both have to lie about our identities, and I won't be old enough to legally marry in Washington for another eight years."

Jacob covered his eyes. "_Please_ stop saying that!" he moaned. "Especially in front of your parents." Everyone laughed, although Poppa did look just a little disturbed.

"In any case, we have to allow the intention and the vows to stand for themselves, since we're in legal limbo."

"The choice of officiants is something that should be passed on to your father," Carlisle told Jacob. "It could have a bearing on their decision."

Jacob nodded. "Anything else I should bring up?"

"Ask, if you would, about any restrictions or requirements that might be imposed, assuming they allow the wedding to take place on their land." Carlisle looked around the table, asking if there were other questions or comments.

"We'd like to know, at some point, if any wedding guests will be completely out of the loop," Jasper said, "or aware of the wolf pack but not of our situation. And if so, which ones. It could help us remain inconspicuous."

"I'll pass that along," Jacob said, "although I think I have a pretty good idea."

"One other matter," Carlisle said, "and it is probably late in coming." He was looking at Jacob and me. "We all discussed it one day recently, while the two of you were out. We all agree that you should be included in family meetings from now on. Assuming you agree."

"Both of us?" Jacob asked.

"Yes."

We looked at each other. "Okay," Jacob said. "Thanks." I nodded, smiling a little at the terse reply. I knew it was just Jake's version of solemn formality.

The meeting broke up, and Alice immediately collared both of us for more wedding plans.

"What more can there be?"

"For your information, there are a thousand details to be worked out. And yes," she added as I started to speak, "I'm perfectly happy to arrange each and every one of them. And if I weren't, Esme and Rose are always standing by for any wedding-related assignment I'm not ready for. But it would really help if I knew what your general vision of the wedding was."

I looked at Jacob, who shook his head. "This is definitely your department. I've got no vision of that kind."

"Oh, you know what I mean, Nessie!" Alice said impatiently. "What's the general theme? You were perfectly clear on the idea when you were working out an Internal Revenue wedding."

Jacob and I both suppressed a laugh, but I tried to think of a way to answer her question. Our marriage would be a union of two formerly rival groups. It was based on love, yes, but love of an unusual kind that often passed outside the normal limits of nature. Jacob imprinting on me years ago, for example. It depended on a series of crises being averted by what seemed to be almost magical means, what Carlisle would call providential, leading to a joyful but nearly impossible happy ending over and over, throughout my lifetime and before.

"Midsummer...lots of sunlight, but..." Alice was muttering. She looked blankly at the wall a moment. "Perfect. No rain, but clouds throughout the day."

"What was that you said about midsummer?"

"What? Oh, the date. June 25, midsummer, the longest day of the year."

I burst out laughing. Jacob and Alice stared at me, as did several others in the room. "What's funny about that?" Alice asked.

"Not funny, in the usual sense. Just the last straw." She shook her head at me, and I managed to stop laughing. "The theme for the wedding is A Midsummer Night's Dream." I looked over at Jacob, who grinned approvingly. Our life was a fairy tale. Why fight it?

"Oh! So you want an enchanted forest?"

"Yes, only instead of a forest of old England, it should be a forest of the Pacific Northwest."

"It's perfect." Alice's eyes were wide, picturing the wedding in its completed form. "Everything else falls into place."

"I even have an idea for the wedding cake." I described it to her in detail.

"Wonderful. I can get on very well with this as a guideline." She kissed me on the cheek and ran off to make plans.

Jacob phoned Billy on his cell, and paced the house for almost half an hour, at first explaining the situation, then spending some time listening to Billy's reply. He finally returned, clicking his phone shut. "He's going to talk to the others and get back to me this afternoon."

In fact, Billy didn't call back until that night, almost twelve hours later. Jacob put him on speakerphone so the rest of the family could join the conversation.

"It was pretty simple, in the end," Billy explained, "but the pack insisted on making it a formal council meeting. We had to wait until everybody was available at the same time."

"What's the verdict?" Jacob asked.

"They're okay with the wedding being held here, guests included. They all recognize it's a special situation. The only stipulations are that no red-eyed friends attend. I'm sure you understand that."

"We understand perfectly," Carlisle replied. "The invited guests from our side all follow the same regimen as we do. They do not hunt humans."

"Good enough. There are a small number of guests who'll be unaware: all the children, of course; Jacob's sister Rebecca and her husband; and one of Jake's aunts. I'm sure you know how to keep things undercover."

"Of course."

"As for the wedding ceremony, Old Quil is fine with joining forces. You'll have to get in touch with him at some point, and work out exactly how you'll be conducting things."

"I'll do that. Alice was talking about going to Washington a few days ahead to set things up. I can also come ahead and work out the details with your elder."

"That'll do fine. Oh, and Jake had me reserve the community centre for June 25. All taken care of, but you guys have to do the decorating. All we have are tables and chairs, and maybe a few streamers."

"It'll be taken care of," Alice told him.

"Good. Congratulations to everybody, then, and we'll see you before long."

A significant shopping trip was scheduled for Jacob and me the following Saturday. We drove into Portland to buy rings for each other.

Jacob's first impulse was to purchase the gaudiest, most diamond-encrusted wedding band available, but I convinced him it would detract from my engagement ring, which I intended to keep wearing. He agreed to a jewel-free platinum band I could wear alongside my diamond.

I took a long time choosing Jacob's ring. He was content with whatever I chose, but once I realized he'd be wearing it constantly the rest of his life, I became terminally indecisive. He laughed at my vacillating, but I found myself taking this seriously. I was about to ornament him, and it had to be done properly. None of the rings seemed to properly compliment his robust beauty without looking too gaudy and feminine for him. I finally settled on a simple platinum ring with a subtle milled edge. It somehow seemed to suit him perfectly; I loved the anticipation of placing it on his finger.

Momma, Poppa, Jacob and I had planned to make a short visit to Forks for Spring Break, as we often did in order to visit with Charlie and Sue. This year, we took a crew along with us. First Alice wanted to come along and get a preliminary look at the wedding site; that meant Jasper wanted to come as well. Esme and Rose decided they, also, would benefit from seeing the location in advance. Jake and I got to spend some time with Grandpa and Sue, mostly talking about the wedding, fishing, and amusing events from Jacob's childhood. I hadn't realized just how paternal Charlie felt toward Jacob. This wedding seemed to mean a lot to him, and not only because of me.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family, with permission from the tribe, studied the wedding site. It was decided that the wedding called for new dishes, tablecloths, a sound system, cooking facilities, and lighting fixtures. With some careful negotiations, employing Alice's best pleading and Carlisle's most impressive diplomacy, the family was able to convince the council to accept all of these things as a donation, in exchange for their gracious permission to hold the event on Quileute land. Alice was transported to shopping Heaven. Before leaving the area, the centre was outfitted with new paraphenalia, including a six burner stove and 120 place settings of what appeared to be commonplace white dishes, but were actually Wedgwood.

At one point, the family disappeared for several hours, returning via oceangoing canoes in the company of Sam and several pack members. Nobody would explain where they'd been, although Alice made it clear she was keeping an interesting secret, and did mention the word _honeymoon_ in passing when I asked about their mysterious day trip.

Back home, Esme was working on changes to Jacob's house, trying to make it more welcoming to his future bride. The house was actually lovely as it was, but a little masculine in tone. Esme and Rose were renovating the bedroom and bathroom in particular, giving them some feminine touches and adding closet space. They also moved in a desk and bookshelves for my personal use. There was a suggestion that a painting studio should be set up in the cottage, but I maintained that I was perfectly happy with the one in the main house, as long as the family was fine with my working there. Besides, I was putting together a little wedding gift for the groom, which was easier to keep secret in the main house.

The happy, ordinary days passed by quickly. Jacob and I finished our sophomore year, and we were facing the last weekend of June before we knew it. Most of the family went ahead to Washington days in advance to put the wedding details in place, leaving Momma and Poppa behind to travel down with me the day before.

On Thursday morning, Jacob left to drive out alone for the homecoming/bachelor party he was unable to completely avoid. I clung to him at the front door, not even trying to put on a brave face.

"Do you know how long it's been since we were apart for a whole day?" I asked him unhappily. "Let alone two!"

"I know, Nessie. It's not easy for me, either." He looked uncomfortably at my parents, who were pretending not to hear the conversation. "But we'll be together again on Saturday. And after that, we'll never be apart again. Not if I have anything to say about it."

I nodded, pressing my face against his chest, and hugged him as hard as I could. I'd never liked being away from Jake, but now it seemed almost unbearable. It was the same kind of reaction I'd noticed in my family over the years. Another thing I'd finally matured into. I felt a little silly, making a fuss about a mere two day separation, but I couldn't seem to help it.

Finally, I forced myself to let him go, urging him to leave quickly and drive fast, before I changed my mind. He kissed me warmly but hastily and sprinted for the car, taking me at my word. I watched the cloud of dust his vehicle made until it was out of sight, then turned back to the house. I had Jacob's gift to place in the house, ready for when we returned home from our honeymoon.

"Did you see his wedding present to you?" Poppa asked as I walked dejectedly past him.

"Oh! Yes, he couldn't keep anything that large a secret. It's gorgeous, isn't it?" Jacob had installed a grand piano in the living area of his cottage. It was a smaller model than the one in the main house, but a specialty design which matched the Arts and Crafts decor of the cottage itself.

"Where's your present to him?" Momma asked. "Is it ready?"

"Sure." I brought it from the studio, framed and ready to hang.

It was an interior sketch done in charcoal and acrylic paint - the inside of my family home. Empty at first glance, the large living space revealed the presence of one after another benevolent resident. There was a trace of shirt cuff showing someone seated at the half-hidden piano; the flutter of a sleeve in a window revealing a woman working in the garden; a hand on an armrest; an upraised open book behind which an unseen person was reading. And in the far background of this scene, easy to miss until you realized it was the central focus of the painting, were the figures of a man and a woman sitting together on a divan - their hands clasped, the woman resting her head against her companion's shoulder. Her eyes were closed, smiling, while the man looked down on her with an expression of gentle but intense devotion. It was an expression I'd seen on Jacob's face since the day I was born, but had only now been able to clarify it in my mind well enough to capture in paint. The couple were surrounded by people close to them, but for the moment aware only of each other.

Momma and Poppa examined the painting for some moments before breaking into a smile. I was a little relieved that they didn't take the insignificance of the family members personally. It was just my way of seeing them, at times: reassuringly present, but sometimes subordinate, since my feelings for Jacob had changed. Poppa picked up the direction of my thoughts. "No, it's understandable. I'm the same way at times; especially when your mother and I were first married. Even Carlisle was like that after his and Esme's wedding. He'd completely forget my presence at times."

I was surprised. "Didn't you mind that?"

He smiled. "I might have, if I hadn't heard his thoughts, and understood. And of course now I understand far better." Momma smiled at me as well, taking me into the fraternity, so to speak.

I looked down, a little embarrassed. I moved on to a slight non-sequitur. "Kate said it must be nice for you, having everybody matched up evenly again."

"What's nice for us is knowing you're happy," Momma told me. I hugged her firmly before moving on to the cottage, and hanging the painting in the bedroom. I took a look around at the newly renovated room where we'd be sleeping for the next few years, paused in the living room to play a few bars on my beautiful new piano, then returned to the house.

"We're leaving tomorrow; we should hunt once more tonight," Poppa suggested. I could hear what he wasn't saying: that the room was full of "last" things we'd do together as parents and child, before I became a married woman, officially no longer under their care. Poppa could be exceptionally sentimental at times. I hugged him as we went out the door toward the park, resolving to play a few duets with him before I went to bed.

The following day we caught our flight to Seattle, driving from there to Forks to pay our respects to Charlie and Sue before moving on to LaPush. Momma and Poppa went ahead to help with the preparations, leaving me to visit. Charlie was in an attentive mood, asking me repeatedly if I was nervous, and finally coming out and inquiring whether I was sure about my decision.

"To marry Jacob?" I asked in surprise. "Yes! I've never been so sure of anything."

"Okay, I know. It's just that you're...so young." He looked over at Poppa with a vaguely accusing expression.

"I'm not _really_, you know. I'm a grown woman. I have been for a while." I knew better than to face Charlie with any direct statement about my age or condition, but I was sure he knew enough to understand.

"Yeah, I know." He looked nervous. "I just want to make sure you're...that you'll be happy."

"I will be, Grandpa. Please don't worry about me."

"Okay." He looked over at Sue, who rolled her eyes at him, making fun of his apprehension.

"If you want to worry, worry about your first dance with me at the reception."

"Oh, yeah. That."

"You haven't practiced at all, have you?"

"Well..."

I laughed, and he grinned back at me. Sometimes I could really see Momma in him: they were both shy and hated attention; both awkward in the face of strong emotion; but most of all, they cared for the people they loved in the same way.

I was picked up in the afternoon and taken to the family's rented cabins, where I changed and joined everyone for the wedding rehearsal. It wasn't anything elaborate: we established who would walk where, which of our officiants would speak first, and where we would go immediately after the ceremony ended. I got a look at the centre's main room, which was already partially decorated. It looked like Aunt Alice was prepared to outdo herself.

Jacob and I, overjoyed to be together again, took a short walk once the rehearsal was completed. We talked of nothing in particular for a while, then I asked a question that had occurred to me the day before. "What happens after we leave the wedding party? Do we drive away and start out honeymoon immediately? And if so, where do we stay for the first night?"

"Oh, right. I was trying to decide if I should tell you this or not."

"Tell me what?"

"We've got a place to stay for the wedding night."

"We do? Where?"

He smiled at me sidewise. "Would you mind very much if I kept that part as a surprise?"

"I guess not. Is it far?"

"No, not far at all." He sounded very mysterious. I was intrigued, but I let him have his surprise.

We reluctantly separated when it became late, Jacob going back to stay at his father's house, and I to the hotel with my parents. They left before I went to bed; I gathered the entire family were working through the night to finish off the wedding preparations while I slept.

I woke well after sunrise, feeling happy and rested. Every effort was made to make sure my morning was leisurely and tranquil. I was brought a sumptuous breakfast in bed, heavy on the refined carbs and sugars. Then I headed into the shower, following Alice's shouted instructions to shampoo my hair thoroughly. Afterwards, while family members flitted in and out attending to wedding details, I was installed in an easy chair, my nails polished and my hair slowly brushed 200 times. It was more a ritual than a genuinely useful procedure, but I appreciated the thought; besides, I'd always loved having my hair brushed, since I was a baby. Such beauty treatments as were not completely pointless on a vampire hybrid were provided by my cast of handmaids.

They all left me for a few minutes to take care of their own hair and clothing, returning looking like a row of fairy godmothers. Then they got to work on my wedding ensemble, carefully pulling the gauzy white gown over my head, setting the veil and headpiece in my curls, even stooping down to put my shoes on my feet for me. Esme, Rose, Momma and Alice circled slowly around me, looking for flaws and mismatches, adjusting a button here, a seam there. At last they fell back, satisfied. "That's it. You're perfect," Alice declared. I laughed, but when she led me to a mirror, I had to admit I was at least satisfactory.

I turned back to them. "You all look wonderful."

"_So_ not the point!" Rosalie laughed. "But thanks."

"Time to go," Alice told me. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, moved my engagement ring from my left to my right hand, and followed them to the car. It was a very short ride down the highway to LaPush. As we drove up to the community centre, I could see a group of children milling around the entrance, apparently assigned to watch for my arrival. They grinned and hurried inside as we arrived.

Poppa emerged from the front door to meet us. "Shall we take a short walk?" he asked casually. I grinned at him, realizing he was making sure I felt ready, threw my arms around his neck and hugged him for all I was worth.

"Thank you, Poppa."

"For what, my love?"

"For...everything."

He kissed me on the forehead and led me into the foyer. Apparently those inside were given the signal that we were ready to proceed, and a moment later things were underway.

First, I heard a rhythmic chanting from inside, as members of the band enacted a ceremonial welcome and preparation for the marriage. Peeking through the cracks in the foyer door, I could see the meeting room in which the wedding ceremony was to take place. Carlisle and Old Quil were taking their places at the head of the aisle; Jacob and Seth following them to stand to the right, waiting for me to approach. I stood and stared at Jacob, fascinated by this rare sight of him in a suit and tie. I'd vetoed Alice's choice of grey tuxedos. I thought grey was too cold; it didn't fit Jake somehow. She'd dressed him in a medium brown suit with fawn vest and tie. Much better: brown was warm. Like him. I made myself look away and take in the rest of the room. Our guests were seated, waiting. As I watched, Billy Black wheeled his way up the aisle, escorting Momma to a place in the front row. I took a deep breath.

The chanting ceased, there was a short pause, and other music began: Uncle Jasper playing _Sleepers Awake_ quietly on his guitar, as I'd requested weeks ago. On Alice's signal, Seth's little daughter Nora stomped up the aisle with her basket of flowers, forgetting to scatter petals as planned but looking adorable. A moment later, Rosalie stepped past me, gave me a wink, and proceeded through the doors and up the aisle, walking slowly and gracefully, carrying a small bouquet.

As Rosalie approached the front, Poppa led me through the doorway. A very subtle fanfare was added to the music at that point, the only indication that I was entering. Everyone stood, and I smiled as I took in their happy faces and the beautifully decorated room; and almost laughed with joy as I saw Jacob, saw the expression on his face as he watched me approach. I looked around at my family, my extended family, my friends. I was almost painfully aware of how much they all loved me and wanted the best for me. And I was also aware that I was about to marry a man who could never be anything but passionately devoted to me, for as long as we lived.

Most women want to feel like a princess on their wedding day. For me, that would have been a downgrade. I felt like a queen preparing to marry her consort. I felt like a goddess going to meet the divine being created just for her. I felt like...like Nessie about to marry her Jacob. I felt a huge smile spread over my face, matching the one on Jacob's. I felt Poppa squeeze my hand as he heard my grandiose thoughts. I squeezed back.

We reached the end of the aisle, Poppa placed my hand in Jacob's and withdrew to sit beside Momma, and Jacob and I stood holding hands as the music came to a conclusion.

Old Quil spoke a few words on the significance of marriage, drawing on Quileute folklore and alternating between English and the Quileute language. Then he turned the proceedings over to Carlisle. As a gesture to my grandfather and head of the family, we used the old Anglican wedding service, but modified for brevity. Just as I'd predicted, I loved placing the ring on Jacob's finger, claiming him forever. "_With this ring, I thee wed; with my body, I thee worship; and all my worldly goods, I thee endow_." Old fashioned, but beautiful. Jacob repeated the words, placing the ring reverently on my finger. Our eyes met: hello, husband.


	9. Wedded Bliss

We were declared husband and wife and everyone leapt to their feet, some applauding, some embracing each other in their happiness. Jacob and I kissed joyfully, then smiled at them all, and kissed again. Then, as Jasper played a jubilant piece of music to lead us out, we walked back down the aisle. This time, we took a turn and exited the small meeting room, moving directly into the main room of the building, where our reception would be held. The others would follow momentarily.

It was the first time I'd seen the finished decorations. Alice had definitely come through with the promised motif. The wooden ceiling was obscured by draped midnight blue gauze, simulating a night sky, through which could be seen constellations of twinkling stars - by what means, I wasn't sure. I wouldn't put it past Alice to get something on loan from an astronomical observatory. Hanging from long chains over our heads were a seemingly endless series of votive lights. These turned out to be small battery-powered lamps, rather than the potentially hazardous hanging candles, but they had much the same effect. The walls were lined with what seemed to be a western coastal forest: trees, vines, branches, all mysteriously backlit; and the tables held centrepieces featuring decorative branches, ferns and native wildflowers in bronze containers. The lush decorations were a lovely contrast to the stark white tablecloths and dishes. The head table was much the same as the others, except that it bore a large Quileute wolf emblem on the front, facing the guests.

Beyond the tables was an open area flanked by a sound system and electric keyboard, which I assumed would act as dance floor once the meal was over. I began looking forward to the evening ahead, and looked up to find Jacob watching me, radiating happiness.

Rosalie, Seth, Poppa and Momma came through the doors to join us, closely followed by Billy. "They're right behind us," Billy warned, and we quickly formed a line and prepared to meet our guests - officially, for the first time, as Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black. Yes, that might take a little getting used to.

There was a great deal of hugging done. Our Denali cousins and our new 'vegetarian' friends, William and Mila, embraced me rapturously, and hugged Jacob with only the slightest hesitation. It was the scent thing, mostly. The Quileutes were as welcoming to me as they knew how to be. I only had to remember to be careful when hugging the few ordinary human guests, like Grandpa Charlie. Grandpa was happier than I'd ever seen him, and he and Billy seemed to be sharing some unspoken joke.

The meal, by request, was buffet style. For one thing, this made it easier for the vampires present to pretend to eat. In keeping with local custom, meat and salmon were prepared on outdoor grills then transferred into the dining room; but instead of having guests take turns cooking, Alice had hired some of the reserve's teenagers to do the work. The rest of the food was catered in, and certainly seemed to go over well.

As the meal ended, Jake and I got up to cut the cake, causing cameras to flash around us like fireflies. The cake, like everything else Alice had planned, was exactly right. Three tiers covered in smooth fondant of palest lavender, simulating the colour of twilight, it was decorated with white and lavender woodland plant life: ferns, rushes, mushrooms, reeds, small flowers. There were a few moths and dragonflies scattered among the vegetation. Placed here and there, standing upright around the tiers, were pairs of forest animals, male and female, cut from sugar paste: a buck and doe, a pair of foxes, two rabbits, two tiny mice, and of course two wolves. I loved it. We cut slices and passed them around; there were no leftovers. I ate the sugar wolves myself.

Music began as the guests were finishing their dessert, and a few minutes later Jacob and I were urged onto the dance floor. I'd been giving him dance lessons for years, and while his dancing wasn't _quite_ up to Cullen standards, he was pretty damn good. The music, played by Rosalie on the keyboard accompanied by our friend William on his violin, was a piece Poppa had written especially for the occasion: his personal wedding gift to us. Everyone clapped and whooped as we waltzed around the floor, then we called for everyone else to join in. We made sure all the family members had their turn before the music veered from ballroom to rock, eventually giving way to some country line dancing a lot of the locals preferred.

During a short lull in the celebrations, I tossed Rosalie's bouquet - it was caught by one of the teenaged girls who'd been grilling salmon outside, resulting in relentless teasing by her peers - and Jacob performed the ritual removal of the garter, tossing it to Nahuel. I wondered if that would cause some interesting conversations later in the evening.

I had a chance to talk to every one of the guests, to thank my family for their respective parts in arranging it - with unspoken thanks for the lifetime of careful support and preparation which had made it all possible. When our flower girl finally fell asleep under the keyboard stand and the midnight snack table had been cheerfully demolished, Alice whispered that it might be a good time to leave the party. I caught Jacob's eye, and was immediately ready. Alice and Momma took me off to a side room to change into street clothes, simple slacks and a cotton blouse, while Jacob left to do the same. He emerged dressed in cargo pants and a short sleeved cotton shirt, looking no less gorgeous than he had in his wedding suit. He returned my wide smile, and I saw Alice roll her eyes. "Newlyweds," she muttered. I guess we were a little obvious.

We returned to the hall and made a conspicuous show of heading for the front door, hand in hand. The guests quickly caught on and ran for bags of rice and anything else they hoped to throw at us. "Is it time to tell me where we're going?" I whispered to Jake.

"Not yet."

I expected to leave everyone behind and go straight to Jacob's car; but to my surprise, we kept walking, flanked by Sam, Seth, Paul and Quil, straight toward the beach. I glanced at Jacob, but he was smiling, so I kept quiet and went along.

At the water's edge were two boats: one of the huge, oceangoing canoes some members of the tribe used for fishing and for ceremonial purposes, and one outboard motorboat, already loaded with two small suitcases and a metal cooler. Grinning even harder, Jacob helped me into the front seat of the motorboat while the other four pushed the canoe out into the shallow water and jumped in. Jake started the motor, turned on the boat's lights, and we began to move, straight out into the ocean, flanked on one side by the wooden boat. We proceeded for some five minutes, accompanied by the sound of paddles and the soft singing of our escort; then the four men whooped and raised their paddles, letting the momentum die away and falling behind our boat as we proceeded forward. I looked back to see them waving at us as they turned back, and we continued.

I couldn't keep quiet any longer. "So," I said casually, "we're spending our wedding night in a small boat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?" He chuckled. "Sounds like an original honeymoon idea. It should catch on."

"Nessie," he laughed.

"Time to divulge all, Wolfman."

"Okay." He kept one hand on the motor as he pointed straight ahead and slightly to the right. "That's an island sometimes used during salmon fishing runs. Old Quil offered to let us use it for the night."

"An island? Is there a house or anything on it?"

"We're kind of camping. Well, not exactly. There's a traditional longhouse that was built some time ago. It wouldn't be comfortable for a human in winter, but it would be perfect for us right now. And your family went over and fixed it up. Alice thinks it's good enough to serve as a bridal suite, so I think we're safe."

"Definitely. So, camping alone on an island? That's perfect."

"Glad you think so. I was afraid you'd be disappointed."

"Not so far." He looked at me, and I made a face back at him.

The island began to appear in the distance a minute later, and soon Jacob was pulling the motorboat up onto the gravel shore and tying it carefully to a small tree. I grabbed my suitcase - presumably packed by my family - and Jake took his own case and the cooler, and we walked inland until we reached a strange wooden structure. It was made mostly of cedar, almost 80 feet long, with a large doorway facing the inland shore. The roof, made of woven cedar bark over shingles, looked like it had been recently repaired, and the entrance was now decorated with an archway of flowering vines and shrubs which I attributed to Esme. In front was a weathered totem pole, and the sides of the building were decorated with traditional crests representing the bear, raven, whale, and of course wolf. It was a strange, beautiful, slightly mysterious place, and I loved it at once.

Seeing my smile, Jacob grinned in relief, dropped the luggage just inside the doorway, and stooped to pick me up in his arms. I laughed in surprise. "Tradition is tradition," he told me, carrying me over the threshold into the quiet space within.

I looked around. Most of the house was simply traditional longhouse style: one huge, open room with little booths or three-sided chambers along each side. The final chamber, however, was giving off a faint light. Jacob carried me to the end of the house before setting me down and letting me take it all in. In place of the rude platform the other chambers held, this one contained a queen sized bed in a simple wooden frame, covered with white pillows, sheets and quilted covers. The entire chamber was surrounded by layers of filmy white curtains, and lit by a dozen or more of the little hanging lights Alice had used at the wedding. Flowers were formed into a loose bower around the headboard. It was possibly the most inviting bedroom I'd ever seen. Doubly so when I realized I'd be sharing it with Jacob. I found my way through the layers of sheer hangings, just as I heard Jacob fasten the catch on the door and walk back to join me.

I'd thought I might be nervous. Momma had warned me that I might, and urged me not to worry or rush things. It was kind of her, but it was wasted advice. I put my arms around Jacob's neck and kissed him, and neither of us looked back.

It was perfect, but it was fairly quick, considering the newness of the situation. Any strangeness we may have felt simply dissolved the second we touched. Our clothes were off in minutes, and we fell into bed, kissing madly, a moment later. Jacob insisted on slowing things down long enough to make sure I was happy and satisfied, using the same approach we'd been employing since our engagement. It was fantastic. Maybe it was the complete solitude, or maybe it was something about being officially married, but everything seemed to scale up a notch.

He held me a moment while I caught my breath. Then it was Jacob's turn to be nervous. I was puzzled by his reluctance.

"I'm afraid it'll hurt you."

"Well, it might, for a second. Just this once. It's okay, Jacob. Don't worry."

He nodded. I helped him as he cautiously tried to enter me, pausing more than once to ensure I was fine. There was, in fact, a brief moment of pain. Momma, in our private pre-wedding talk, had passed along Carlisle's explanation, that this - she cringed a little when she said the word _hymen_ - was one of the things that wouldn't spontaneously heal, because it was naturally meant to be broken and stay broken. "Like when your baby teeth came out," she offered. I did see the parallel, sort of, and her information turned out to be accurate.

But back to more important matters. Jacob finally broke through the natural barrier he was so concerned about, and I reassured him that I was fine. At last, he relaxed and began to move. Then things got really wonderful.

In terms of the usual kind of performance rating, our official first time may have fallen short. It was as well that Jacob had pleasured me with his hands first, because he wasn't able to muster the control to last more than a very short time. I didn't care in the least. I thought it was captivating that he was so swept away. I was strongly aware that this was his first time as well as mine, and deeply touched by his lack of expertise. I was excited by the frantic pleasure that so clearly possessed him. I was overcome by the powerful, gratifying physical sensation of Jacob inside me. I knew, as surely as I knew anything, that the next time, and subsequent times, would be much, much better. I couldn't have been happier.

Afterwards, we kissed and held each other and murmured nonsense back and forth, but we were both exhausted by the day's events and the late hour. I urged him to lie down with me, and only minutes later, whispering happily to each other, we drifted asleep, wrapped in each other's arms. I was surprised by just how sweet that other newlywed precedent was. Sleeping together, in the literal sense, was not to be underestimated.

I woke before dawn, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. First, of the smell of the ocean, beneath the more immediate, familiar scent of Jacob. Then, the sound of insects chirping in the surrounding woods, and the rush of waves on the shore. Jake's steady breathing, and the feel of his body against mine. I opened my eyes and stopped short, mesmerized by the sight of his sleeping face, so masculine and strong, yet while sleeping so heartbreakingly youthful and sweet. A few minutes later, he moved slightly, his breathing hitched, and he opened his eyes and stared into mine.

Neither of us spoke, although I didn't realize it until later. It seemed as if we were communicating with amazing clarity. He put his arms around me and pulled me closer, I did the same, and we kissed. From that moment we seemed to act as a single entity. It was slower this time, and the pleasure exquisite. As I'd predicted the night before, the second time was beyond incredible. I was addicted all over again, and I didn't have to wonder whether Jacob felt the same way.

We lay together a few minutes while I stroked Jacob's back and he scattered feeble kisses across my shoulders. At last he raised his head.

"Good morning."

I laughed. It was the first thing either of us had said - in words, at least - since the previous night. "Good morning!"

"I assume all is well?"

"Extremely well." We kissed once more, and finally sat up in bed. The little hanging lamps had nearly used up their battery power; only one was still flickering weakly.

He looked around as if seeing the building for the first time. "The sun's just coming up. Want to go outside? Maybe take a swim?"

"Sure." I jumped out of bed, and he followed me. We walked out the doorway into the faint light, not thinking twice about the fact that we were naked, and ran hand in hand toward the shore, running full speed across the rocky beach and into the cold, choppy water. Not a pleasant swimming beach for humans, but perfect for us. We swam and played in the rolling waves like a pair of happy seals, finally swimming back to shore just as the sun completely cleared the horizon and broke through the thick clouds that filled most of the eastern sky. Jacob stopped and stared at me as I walked onto the rocky beach, and I looked at him questioningly. "What?"

"You're so beautiful." He made a gesture that took me in from head to foot, and I looked down at myself. The sun was hitting me directly, and my skin was giving off its customary glow in response. He seemed fascinated. I suppose he'd never seen my reaction to sunlight in full, including every single inch of skin. I was the tiniest bit self-conscious, but not much. My naked, glowing body made him happy, and I could only be glad about that.

I looked over his lean, brown form in the sunlight. "So are you." He snorted, but it was perfectly true.

We chased each other over the beach until we were both dry, then Jacob suggested stopping for breakfast. I had no interest, but was happy to sit with him while he unpacked the cooler provided for us, and demolished most of its contents. We sat together on a large piece of driftwood afterward, talking. We didn't discuss anything earth shaking, but we were making plans for our lives over the next few months, and it made me feel very conjugal.

"When do we need to get back?" I asked. I was already attached to the place. This island would always be one of my favourite locations.

"By mid afternoon, if we're going to stick with our original plans."

I nodded. "Time for one more swim?" He grinned and raced me across the stones and driftwood, and back into the water.

Hours had passed since getting out of bed that morning, and I could sense a change in the way we acted together, physically. Without intending to, we were both touching more, keeping closer to each other. An aura of sensuality seemed to be building up even in the bracing atmosphere of the cold salt water. By mutual accord, we found our way back to shore.

We stood together under the crude shower in the nearby outdoor privy, to wash away the sea salt, then walked, fully embraced, back to our little room in the wooden longhouse. I pushed Jacob down onto the bed and fell on top of him. I'd like to say that experience, however brief, had begun to teach us patience, but, well, not so far. I didn't feel rushed; just urgent. I was relieved that we had no clothing to deal with this time. We both seemed to be drawing out the foreplay but, on my part at least, it was mostly out of a vague idea that I ought to, not because I required it. Everything felt so delicious, I could hardly hold back; and at last I moaned in frustration, "_Please,_ Jacob!" He needed no further encouragement. Improper foreplay practices or not, we were clearly doing something right. It was...stunning. I think I may have become exceptionally noisy at one point, but Jake didn't seem to mind. Far from it.

We lay together a while, wide awake this time, just holding and touching each other, basking in joy and satisfaction. I found myself having an odd reaction as I lay gloating over his beautiful, naked brown body. I felt a fierce possessiveness, almost a jealousy. I didn't feel jealous of other women - I realized that wasn't a plausible threat - but of anything that would separate him from me. I would fight to the death if there was any real threat against Jacob. I would fight to protect my other loved ones, of course, but that would be a conscious decision; this was like a reflex. It wasn't often I had such a purely vampiric response to anything, and it interested me even as I hoped it would never be called into action.

I could see the sun, filtered through the cloud cover, almost directly overhead. "It must be around noon," I said idly.

"Mm hm. We should be leaving in an hour or so." I sighed, and he kissed me softly. "I know. I kind of hate to go, too. But it's just a place. We're leaving together."

"Yes. And from now on, every place we go will be our island, in a way." I blushed a little. It sounded so sentimental, which I wasn't, usually, but Jacob seemed to like the idea.

"I know what you mean. Yeah, it will be." He kissed me once more, and by silent agreement we both rose from the bed. I straightened out the bedclothes and we walked back to the entrance. Jacob glanced apologetically at the cooler. "I'm going to finish off the food, if you don't mind."

"Of course not. Go ahead." I perched on a fallen log near the longhouse while he took out the remaining food.

"Sure you don't want anything?" I shook my head. "We'll stop to hunt once we're on the road," he promised. "First opportunity."

I let him feed me the last morsel of a chocolate chip cookie, just because he seemed to enjoy it, then took a look through my luggage while he packed up the cooler. "I haven't had much opportunity to use this so far," I remarked, studying the carefully folded clothes someone, probably Alice, had placed in the overnight bag. "I see I had a bathing suit all along."

He laughed. "I assume I have one too. I can't imagine using it, though, can you?"

"Definitely not. That would've been almost criminal." My eyebrows shot up when I came across a couple of more surprising items. "Interesting," I said, holding up a sheer blue teddy and a second one of black lace. "I had no idea I was supposed to dress for the occasion."

He laughed. "Those would've been beyond unnecessary. More of an intrusion than anything, at least as I remember it."

"That's how I remember it, too. I could hardly wait for both of us to be naked. The last thing we needed was alternate clothing. Even high-octane lingerie."

"Well, save it for a few months from now, when we've lost all interest."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll do that." His remark reminded me of something else, something Rosalie had given me a private chat about. "You know, I didn't want to mention it beforehand..." He raised an eyebrow. "Well, can I ask - are you particularly tired?"

"Tired? No, not at all. Why?"

"You don't find me excessively...demanding? At least, so far?"

"Demanding? Are we talking about sex?"

"Yes."

His laughter seemed genuine. "Not even close. We're sympatico as far as I can tell. Don't _you_ think so?"

"Yes, I thought so, but I wanted to make sure. I was warned there might be a little problem with compatibility."

"Ah. The vampire thing." I looked at him in surprise. "Emmett took me aside for a really weird talk, about a week before the wedding."

"_Emmett_?"

"No, he was pretty well behaved, for Emmett. Gave me the lowdown on the infamous vampire sex drive."

"Right, well...Rosalie talked to me at about the same time. Warned me I might have to make compromises."

"And now...?"

"I'm thinking pretty definitely not. Well, it was never clear whether a mule like me would react the same way as a real vampire. And I already had an inkling, based on what we were doing together before the wedding. Not that I wanted to explain_ that_ to Rosalie."

"So you don't feel like you'll need to compromise?"

"No. Not if things keep going like they have been so far." He smirked at me. "It all seems...almost too incredible; nearly impossible to do without for more than a day; but not like something I need to keep doing for hours on end, like newlywed vampires. I think, once the honeymoon period is over, I can be happy with once or twice a day...or so. I hope that works for you," I added, looking at him with concern.

He chuckled. "Keep in mind that I stopped aging a little while back. Physically, I'm in my late teens. Should that work for me? Absolutely and unconditionally and without the slightest question, yes. This is one thing I don't think we need to worry about." I sighed in satisfaction.  
>"But I'm going to have to suggest one compromise right now." I sat up alertly. "If we're going to start our trip as planned, I think we need to get some clothes on immediately. We have a way of getting distracted."<p>

I was a little distracted already, but I had to agree. "Okay," I sighed. "It seems like a shame, though." I began taking clothes out of my bag: walking shorts, a pretty yellow top, and a pair of sandals. "It's been wonderful not worrying about clothes all day; like this was our own little private Paradise."

"That's exactly what it's been," he agreed. He pulled on a fresh pair of chinos and a deep blue shirt, leaving the shoes in the bag until we reached the mainland. "Ready?"

I took one last look inside our very unusual bridal suite, took up my bag and nodded. "Let's go."

We walked across the rough, driftwood-strewn beach, back to the place where we'd left the motorboat. Just yesterday, although it seemed like a much longer time. Jacob stowed the luggage safely in the back, swung me playfully into the front seat once again, untied the boat and pushed it, with me inside, toward the shore and into the water. He sprang lightly into the back, started the motor, and headed back, due east, to the original point of departure.

We arrived to find no welcoming party. Jacob tied the boat, leaving the cooler inside, and carried our bags a short distance, to a spot under a moss-covered maple tree, where Jacob's car was parked. "Who moved your car?" I asked.

"The guys. They all said - and your family, too - that we shouldn't feel like we need to stop and say hello before continuing on our honeymoon. I gave Seth the car keys so he could park it here this morning. And Alice said she'd leave all our luggage in the trunk." He opened the car's trunk, gesturing at the two large suitcases that lay inside. He stowed our overnight bags inside as well, and slammed it shut. "Carlisle reminded me to keep our cell phones on, just in case," something we did routinely since our encounter with the Volturi, in the event Alice foresaw something, "but otherwise we're free and ready to go."

I noticed a scrap of paper, sealed inside a plastic envelope against the inevitable rain, tucked under the car's windshield wiper. I pulled it out and read it. "'_Congratulations and have a great trip'_," I read. It was signed, '_Your families_.'

I found a pen inside the car, turned the page over and wrote, '_Thank you for everything! We'll see you when we get back._' I started to sign my name, then remembered and wrote '_Mr. and Mrs. J. Black_'; resealed it in plastic, and tucked it under the handle of the cooler. I was grateful to them all, but felt no need for further contact - not right now.

Unaccustomed as I was to being separated from my family, I was actually enjoying the idea of being away from them and completely alone with Jacob for a while longer. I found myself giggling, excited and happy. "Let's get this honeymoon on the road!" I ran to the passenger door and hopped in, and he got behind the wheel. He started the engine as we grinned at each other, then he headed down the gravel road that followed the shore, moving gradually south and to new and unfamiliar areas. Places we could explore together.


	10. There and Back Again

I was so glad we'd decided on a road trip for our honeymoon. It was perfect.

We were able to drive on or stop when and where we liked, for one thing. You don't have that kind of control when you're on a plane or a train. You also don't have the same degree of privacy. We had long conversations as we took turns driving. We went over the events of our life together from the vantage point of what we now knew. We talked about plans for the future. We did some flirting. Sometimes we just drove in comfortable silence, holding hands and watching the scenery, until one of us saw something or thought of something that started the conversation up again.

Our plan was to follow the coastal highway as far as southern California, at which time we would decide on a route back home. For today, we intended merely to make it as far as the Washington/Oregon border and find a nice place to stay for the night. We stopped whenever Jacob got hungry, or when we saw something we wanted to go take a look at. This ranged from impressive views and historic sites, to shabby roadside attractions and, in one case, a 7-11 with a hand-lettered sign proclaiming '_Real Penguin Inside_.' We felt the need to investigate, but we found no penguins of any kind in evidence. The proprietor spoke almost no English or other familiar language, and we never did learn why the penguin claim had been made, or by whom. I sent a snapshot of the store home to the family.

In spite of our frequent stops, we almost made it to the border before the sun began to set. On the family's advice, we sought out hotels - larger hotels, not cozy little B&B's - which were high end, but not quite the crowning glory of the hospitality industry. We would, they said, receive roughly the same degree of comfort as at a luxury hotel, with less scrutiny from the staff. Staying inconspicuous was less important for Jacob and me than for the family, since we came across as more or less ordinary guests, but we took their advice all the same. We found a large inn not far from a state park and checked in, trying not to grin like fools as Jake signed the register with our cover story names: Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Wolfe.

Ensuring that the place offered 24 hour room service, we paused only to change clothes and headed back out, first making a point of asking the desk clerk where the night life was. We weren't heading for the city, though, but for the state park and its plentiful deer population. At this time of night the park was deserted for many miles around - we made sure of that. Jacob removed his clothes and hung them neatly on a tree, and after a moment's thought I did the same. "No sense risking a mess, and having to explain blood stains to the hotel staff," I said, and he snorted. We ran down one of the main paths a short distance, then veered off into the dense trees and underbrush. Jacob phased, and we ran together side by side. He stood aside, watching, as I tracked and caught a male black-tailed deer, then a second. Satisfied, I returned to Jake, and we ran and chased like children, finally returning to our clothing over an hour later. Jacob phased back, we dressed and went back to his car, returning to our hotel by 11:30 - probably leading the hotel clerk to decide we'd been tossed out of a nightclub for unruly behavior - and headed for our room. Jacob had planned to order a late dinner, but once we were alone in our suite he found he'd lost interest in food for the time being, and we joyfully pulled each other's clothing off and fell onto the bed.

We actually exhausted ourselves to the point that we fell asleep, waking in each other's arms at dawn. Jacob's stomach was growling like a bear, but we paused to take a shower - together - and that delayed breakfast by an additional half hour while we figured out how to make love standing up. Finally, Jacob phoned in an order for breakfast for two - all of it for him, of course - and we got dressed to await our meal.

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long to eat."

"Don't be," he smirked. "And you didn't do it alone."

"Even so, you must be starving."

"Not for long." A knock came on the door at that moment, and Jake jumped over the bed to reach it. He offered a generous tip and sat down at the little breakfast cart with a sigh of anticipation. He offered to share once more, but I shook my head, satisfied with last night's hunt, and sat watching him eat. It was a surprisingly sensuous experience, I found.

"So," he said, pausing briefly between bites, "on to Oregon today, assuming that's still the plan?"

"Absolutely."

We packed up, checked out, and continued south on the 101. The view changed as we travelled away from Washington and into Oregon: a little less rugged and picturesque, but prettier in a way. Less cloudy, too: the sun began to appear regularly.

"It's kind of nice, not having to worry about the sun," I remarked. "Not that it's such a hardship, normally," I added quickly.

He grinned at me. "No, I know what you mean."

"I used to wish I sparkled, when I was a baby, even though it was inconvenient to keep hidden. I thought it was so beautiful."

"I like your glow better."

I smiled to myself and we drove in silence a few minutes. "Do you mind that I don't eat with you?" I asked.

"What? No, of course not. Why?"

"Just something I wondered about. Eating is usually a social occasion for humans."

"It still is. You keep me company when I eat. Do you mind doing that?"

"No. In fact, I'm getting to like it more and more." He caught my tone and glanced over at me. "I don't really notice when other people eat, but when you do, it just seems kind of...intimate."

He returned his gaze to the road, smiling through the windshield.

"I ate more when I was little," I mused, half to myself. "I could tell the others didn't care much for it, although of course they never made me feel odd about it. But it's one of the things that made me feel closer to you."

"We were both odd man out in a few ways. The sleeping, for one."

"Right. And the non-sparkling. The fact that I grew and changed, like you did. Or used to."

"The fact that we were both born instead of altered into our present life."

"Yes. It's not that I ever felt out of place in my family. I never felt like I didn't belong, not for a second. It's just that I realize I feel even more at home with you."

He nodded. "I only felt like I belonged with your family _because_ of you. Now that we're married, I feel like I finally clicked completely into place."

We smiled at each other in perfect understanding.

The sun passed a small bank of clouds and burst out overhead just as we passed what seemed to be a very extensive public beach. "Want to stop and take a swim? It's probably almost deserted at this time on a weekday."

I agreed happily, and he turned down the long dirt road leading through a stand of trees and ending some fifty yards from a sandy beach. The ocean sparkled in the sun, calm in the light breeze. We grabbed bathing suits from the trunk, dashed into a wooden hut labelled "changing rooms" and ran hand in hand toward the water. We plunged in without pause, diving, chasing and playing the way we had on our island. A family with children and a dog did show up a while later, but they moved a short distance down the beach, leaving us our privacy. We swam for forty minutes or so before returning to the beach hut, rinsing the salt off our bodies. Having no towels with us, we had to wait for the sun to dry us. We strolled around in the bright sun a while, then finally sat on the hood of the car, assuming this would speed up the drying process.

"I was wondering about something," Jake said, leaning back on his elbows. "Your last name is Cullen. Your mom took the name Cullen when she married Edward. But he was born Edward Masen, right? So why aren't you Renesmee Masen?"

"Poppa changed his last name a long time ago. It was before anybody else belonged to the family, except Esme. He wanted to do it to show he accepted Carlisle as his father, or at least as his real family. He's considered Cullen his real name ever since, although they all use different names at times."

He looked thoughtful. "You really don't mind changing your name to Black?"

"No! I kind of like us having the same last name. It feels more married." My front half was almost dry, so I flipped over and lay on my stomach across the hood. Jacob followed suit, lying beside me.

"Tell me something. Did you ever think about you and me getting married, before I proposed?"

"No. I really hadn't thought ahead that far."

"Thought so."

"Not that I didn't love the idea, once you brought it up."

"I had a hard time working out what you were feeling at the time."

"Well, that's not surprising. I was having a hard time with it, myself."

"Really? You were the one who made the first move. You told me you loved me. _Showed_ me. You seemed pretty sure of yourself."

"Sure, but it took me a while to get to that point." I told him about the stages I'd gone through: the first recognition that he was an attractive man, the way it spoiled our friendship for so long; the final realization that I was in love with him. "It took years. And then another year to really let the physical attraction mature." I told him my theory, that half-and-halfs like myself developed slowly in this area for some reason. "Like Nahuel. I'd like to know if his sisters had the same experience, but we're not exactly on speaking terms." They blamed Nahuel and his aunt, and by extension the Cullens, for the execution of their father by the Volturi. It was a resentment that might never heal.

He nodded, remembering. "It was a little confusing at times. You'd seem to be leading us to be, well, more intimate, and at the same time to be holding back."

"That's about right. I wasn't doing it on purpose. I just couldn't seem to move forward any faster. I know it was rough on you sometimes."

He waved that away. "I didn't want to rush you."

"I know, and I appreciate it. But it was seeing that you were...interested that sometimes helped me move ahead. I _wanted_ to, really; I just needed a push."

"Apparently something worked. You're a natural."

"I know," I said smugly.

His gaze was fixed on my mouth. "I wish we could make love right now. This minute."

I gulped, realizing that I wished exactly the same thing. "Me too."

He glanced down the beach. "I suppose we can't do that with a family swimming a short distance away. Think of the children."

"And the dog," I said weakly, my eyes following the muscles in his back.

"Right. Can't scandalize the golden retriever."

"We'll have to wait until we get a room for the night."

"Maybe a little before night, this time."

"Maybe."

We turned over once more. I tried to focus on the feel of the sun on my skin, to take my mind off the thought of Jake's hands on my skin. I looked over to find him watching me. "You're glowing," he noted, taking in the faint gleam coming off my body. I chuckled. "What's funny?"

"I just remembered something I read years ago. Some polite gentleman heard another man refer to a woman sweating, and said that wasn't proper terminology. He said, 'Horses sweat. Men perspire. Ladies _glow_'."

He laughed. "I think he meant glow figuratively. Unlike in your case."

"But your skin just soaks the sun in. It's nice."

"Humans absorb, vamps sparkle, hybrids glow." We both laughed.

Bone dry at last, we went to change back into our clothes, hopped in the car and continued south. The conversation went on as it had been; we talked about the time in high school when I'd started to gradually become aware of Jacob as something other than a friend. He gave me his side of the experience.

An hour or two later, Jacob suggested getting some lunch. Since practically all we passed to the west was parkland or beaches, we bought food for a picnic and stopped once again by the ocean. A few families were on the beach, and we watched children building sand forts and running in and out of the spray at the water's edge. "I remember playing with you by the ocean, when I was little," I recalled dreamily. "You helped me built these giant moats or canals leading from the water."

"I remember."

I frowned. "You were already...imprinted on me. Didn't it seem like a long wait? All those years that I was a baby, then a child?"

"It wasn't like that. I wasn't impatient for you to grow up. I didn't even think ahead. I just wanted to be with you, needed to give you whatever you needed at the time."

"So if I hadn't made the first move...?"

"Probably we'd still be the way we were. But you did, fortunately."

"And that was, what, your cue? It seemed at the time as if you changed suddenly, like I'd flipped a switch and suddenly you went from pal to boyfriend."

"Something like that. I guess you could say I was waiting, but not consciously, not like I was in a hurry, you know? I saw you grow up, realized you were beautiful and desirable, but...my strongest instinct was to do what was good for you, never to harm you. It cancelled out everything else."

"Why would it harm me if you told me how you felt?"

"It might not have, but I wasn't sure. You were grown up physically, but in actual years, you were only as old as a grade school kid. I couldn't take the risk until I was sure you were mature, in every way."

"I see. Then I'm glad I finally got up the nerve to act first."

"So am I." We cleared our picnic table and started back to the car, returning to our familiar coastal road. "Besides," he added, continuing the conversation, "I kind of promised your folks."

"Promised them what?"

"That I'd wait until I was sure you were ready. In fact, I agreed to wait until _they_ were sure." I shook my head, puzzled. "Just in case I couldn't be trusted to judge, in case I moved too fast, I agreed to wait until your dad confirmed it. He told me he did his best not to invade your privacy, but he couldn't help but have some idea where you stood in terms of maturity. That's why I put you off when you first told me. I had to talk to him first."

"I told you I was in love with you, and you had to wait and get my father's permission before you could answer? Is that what you're telling me?"

"It was something I promised him and your mother, years ago. It made a lot more sense when you were younger."

My eyes widened as I remembered the strange half-dream I had that night. I repeated it to him. "Yeah," he confirmed, "that was my talk with Edward you were overhearing. His half of it, anyway. My part of the discussion was in my head."

I decided to be amused rather than annoyed. "What did you ask him to do? When he said, 'no, you're on your own'?"

"Give me some guidance on how to proceed. I didn't have any experience with pitching woo, y'know."

I laughed. "I'm glad he refused. You did fine on your own."

"I did, didn't I? Well, we both did, for that matter." He fell silent for a long time, frowning out the passenger window as I took my turn at the wheel. I finally asked him what was on his mind. "I hope you know that I'd still love you, even if I'd never imprinted. I'm not joking when I say you're the perfect woman for me."

I looked at him, surprised by his intensely serious tone.

"If I met you now, as an adult," he went on, "I couldn't help but fall in love with you. Without any help. I'm grateful for the imprinting, because without it, I might not have waited for you. I might have settled for someone else. I'm glad that wasn't possible."

I gulped at the thought of Jacob married to someone else. "So am I. I love you, Jake. You're the perfect man for me, too."

The quiet conversation became more personal and amorous as the drive continued. It was only mid afternoon when we decided it was late enough to stop and find lodgings. Once the suggestion had been made, it began to seem urgent that we get behind closed doors as soon as possible. Setting aside preferences, we pulled in at the first large hotel we came across, took a room, and spent an hour or so behind a locked door and a _do not disturb_ sign.

Later, since we were settled in so early in the day, we went out to explore the little town we'd chosen for the night. There were a selection of antique shops on the main street, where I was able to find souvenirs for one or two family members. We stopped at a Chinese restaurant for an early dinner - I inconspicuously moved my share onto Jacob's plate - then we just strolled, watched people, and talked. There was, of course, a public beach nearby, and we returned to the hotel for bathing suits and towels, and enjoyed another swim in the ocean as the sun sank brilliantly over the water. I stopped to send a short text message home before going in for the night.

The next day, we made it into California. The landscape began to change still more. "Is this why people love California so much? I think Washington's coast is more picturesque."

"It's not the look, it's the climate. It's a lot friendlier."

"Friendlier?"

"You don't really notice it, and neither do I, any more. But I can remember before went wolf, how I'd take the weather personally, almost. For humans, cold and heat aren't just numbers. When it gets cold and wet, people are uncomfortable, they can get sick. If it's cold enough, they can actually develop frostbite, hypothermia. It's like the weather's trying to kill you sometimes. And too hot can be even worse. Heatstroke, severe sunburn, dehydration. In some places, people spend half their energy just trying to fend off the weather."

"I do know that. I mean, I know it intellectually, but it's true, I don't think much about what it means to most people. I mean, I can tell the temperature outside is such-and-such temperature, almost to a degree, but I can go swimming in the winter and be perfectly comfortable. It's easy to forget how fragile humans are."

"So when you get a place where it's almost always perfect weather, it's attractive. It's like you've found one place where the environment isn't trying to kill you all the time."

I nodded, looking thoughtfully out the window at the people passing by. "I should be more aware of them."

"Humans? You're aware of them. You're always nice to people, all kinds of people."

"I just don't want to start thinking of them as inferior. I've heard a lot of that from vampires we've met. I don't want to drift that way."

"I honestly don't think you ever could. Besides, you're married to one of them. Well, a sub-category, but still basically human."

"That should help. Especially since you're such a prime specimen."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm a credit to my species."

California got more interesting as we drove south. The beaches, unlike those at LaPush, were expanses of soft, white sand, without the addition of boulders and driftwood logs. The ocean, I noted when we swam, was relatively warm - appealing to humans. The sun shone almost continually throughout the day, with only the occasional late afternoon shower to break up the consistently human-friendly weather.

We stopped at famous beauty spots: Monterey, Big Sur, Napa Valley. Our progress became slower as we paused to take in the unfamiliar scenery. We did some touristy things: took an afternoon cruise to Catalina Island, toured a vineyard, even took a surfing lesson. I thought I could get to like surfing, given the chance. We stopped for the night in pretty little towns, swam in the ocean daily. I found myself enjoying the constant sunlight, trying to empathize with the human reaction to the warmth and the pleasant weather. We made love morning and night, and I was more convinced than ever that we were perfectly compatible, in spite of my earlier concerns. Jacob didn't seem to require any special effort to keep up with me, at least.

When we passed through the major cities, we even sought out some genuine nightlife, dressing up in the highly impressive clubwear provided by Alice's suitcase-packing foresight and joining in the throng of dancing human bodies. We never had any trouble getting into whatever establishment we chose; false modesty aside, we were the best looking couple anywhere we presented ourselves. I was unused to seeing so many people in chemically altered states of mind, but if I overlooked things like that and focused on the music and the unrestrained communal dancing, I loved it. Especially with Jacob. It was a new and different kind of fun, for both of us.

By the time we'd passed Los Angeles, we had a trunkful of souvenirs for everyone in the family, including Grandpa Charlie and Sue, Jacob's dad, and our various cousins. Two weeks into our honeymoon, we curled up together on the veranda of our seaside hotel to work out a new itinerary for the trip home. Following the ocean back was the obvious scenic route, but taking another direction would mean seeing new territory. We decided on the latter, setting out a route that followed central California before cutting cross country, ending by travelling north through Idaho, and from there, straight home.

"We'll be passing through a major national forest in two days," Jacob pointed out, "in case you want to hunt again."

"That's probably a good idea." Throat burn was becoming a problem, especially in larger hotels.

The drive home involved fewer obvious tourist attractions, but was more fun and surprising. We enjoyed just sharing observations on the way people lived, what they did for recreation, the funny little oddities every small town seemed to have. We were moving away from the ocean, but we twice stopped at an inland lake to swim, and once at a public waterslide. We still talked as we drove. Having covered much of our mutual past, we moved on to exchanging thoughts and impressions on things we saw as we travelled. I hadn't thought Jacob and I could be any closer than we were, but it was possible after all.

We travelled north at a leisurely pace, talking, pausing to eat or sightsee or just go for a walk, stopping for the night when we liked. The more obvious honeymoon activities were still very much in play, with Jacob becoming, if anything, _more_ eager as the days passed.

We crossed the border into Alberta nineteen days after our wedding. "We could get home tonight, if you want to drive straight through," Jacob remarked.

I shook my head. "Let's make one more stop for the night. I'm not quite ready." He looked at me questioningly. "Everything's fine. I just want one more day of honeymoon. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Sure. Better than okay." He took my hand. "So the honeymoon was a success, overall?"

"It was perfect," I said with a sigh. "Don't you think so?"

"I do, actually."

"I'm..." I hesitated, looking for the right words. "I'll be happy to see my family again. I miss being with them. But I also loved being completely alone with you. I think what we decided on before would be a good idea."

"What we decided?"

"You know. Taking a trip once a year or so, just the two of us."

"Sure. But why look so guilty about it?"

"I feel a little bit disloyal. My family's been everything to me. I love them all, so much. But it's different now."

"You and me first, then everybody else."

"Exactly." I stared at him. That summed it up.

"It's the way _they_ all feel about their wife or husband."

"I guess they do."

We stopped at sunset a little north of Calgary, taking a room in a large, anonymous hotel. It still felt like home.

Travelling slowly, we reached Edmonton well after dark the following night. "Should we let them know we're almost there?"

Jacob shrugged. "If it's all the same to you, I'm tired. I'd rather just go straight home and see them all in the morning."

I agreed. I sent a text to Momma, telling her we were in Alberta and would see them in the morning. We pulled up to Jacob's house - _our_ house - a little before midnight. We took our suitcases with us but left the gifts and souvenirs in the trunk for the night, dragged ourselves inside, and looked around. The decor had been changed, but only slightly. There were lighter, more colourful curtains in the living room, a few floral touches here and there. Some of my favourite paintings from the main house had been transferred here. Little displays of concern and affection for us, everywhere we looked; it warmed me. We wandered upstairs to the bedroom, where I showed Jacob my wedding present to him: the painting. It seemed even more appropriate now, as it expressed the new intimacy we felt, the way everything else in my life had moved aside to make room for Jacob and me in the centre.

Then we took a moment to look at the bedroom itself. It had undergone a transformation. The bedclothes had been replaced by entirely white covers, and the bed itself hung with layers of gauzy hangings, just like our little room back on our island. The same arrangement of vines and branches that had decorated the longhouse, was now placed over the headboard. The same tiny lights that had decorated our wedding night room now hung from the bedposts, the ceiling, the bookshelves.

We suddenly felt less tired than we had. Jacob pulled me closer and kissed me, and we slowly relived our wedding night, right here in our own home. A very good starting point for the inevitable Happily Ever After.


End file.
